schmutz in my head

Married Life Ain't Easy!

2011-02-01T14:49:00.003+02:00

The man and I officially started our no spend month. I'm hoping it will alleviate some of my stress and help bring us to the road of financial freedom.

A lot has been bothering me lately. I'm a little home sick and yet slightly annoyed. I'd love to go home and visit the fam for something other than a wedding or a holiday but it's just too expensive. During our wedding, people from all over told me that it's easier for us to go to Detroit or South Africa than it is for anyone from SA or Detroit to come to us. I call bullshit on that one. Right now, we're saving to go to my cousin's wedding in Detroit. It's something we actually have to save for because we're two young kids who don't have disposable income. We're just trying to make ends meet and establish ourselves.

Married life ain't easy. It's even harder when you live a bazillion miles from your parents and you've never met your in laws. There's a lot of unnecessary pressure.

Does it get easier?

Wordless Wednesday - Seasons of Love Edition

2011-01-19T11:06:00.001+02:00

Dating...

Married...

... not much changes.

January - Cervical Cancer Month

2010-12-22T16:36:00.002+02:00

January is Cervical Cancer Awareness Month. Did you know that? Probably not. Did you know that cervical cancer is one of the least known about cancers?

WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT CERVICAL CANCER???

Whew, that rant is over. But, really, let's talk about cervical cancer.

Shan from Last Shreds of Sanity has a great post about cervical cancer- it's quite in depth and I highly recommend reading what she has to say as a survivor.

What are the risk factors for cervical cancer?

Most cases of cervical cancer stem from the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) but smoking, immuno- suppressant drugs, HIV, Chlamydia, Diethylstilbestrol (DES), and family history are all common risks factors.

How do I get screened?

The best thing you can do is get a PAP smear. You may have HPV and not know it. The longer you wait, the more dangerous HPV can be.

What is HPV?

As Shan writes "It is a very common virus. There are more than 100 types. About 15 types can cause cervical cancer. Some types cause warts on the fingers or feet but do not cause cancer. Other types cause warts in the genital area that are not cancerous."

Check yourself before you wreck yourself, people. That's all I'm saying.

For more information, head to Cancer.org.

The Mom Look

2010-12-08T09:27:00.002+02:00

Do you have have days where you feel like your outfit is lacking and your hair sucks? That was me yesterday. I tried something "different" with my hair. I blew my hair dry with smaller round brushes and used them as makeshift rollers. So, my hair was big. Well, not 1980's big but big for me. I hated it. Everyone at work loved it.

Lately, I feel like I'm in a funk with my clothing and with my hair. A few weeks ago, I told the man I felt like Velma from "Scooby Doo" and he took that as a compliment for me. Needless to say, when he called me his "Velma" a few days later, I did NOT take it very well. He didn't get it.

I felt like this Velma:

Not this one:

I feel out of my element with clothing lately. I've always been a fan of fashion and I'm usually fairly fashion conscious. Lately, I've acquired the "mom" look. I'm not sure what that means but rather than looking like a hip 20-something, I resemble a "mom".

Don't get me wrong, I have no issues with looking like a Mom if I had kids. But I don't have kids. Unless you call Cecil and Sparky "children" as opposed to my "fur babies".

I'm in a rut. Any suggestions? (Shopping is not a suggestion)

Avoid the Mall Trap!

2010-11-24T12:25:00.001+02:00

In this economy, everyone is concerned with stretching their dollar to the max without having to compromise too much when it comes to your every day lifestyle and wardrobe. Stores like H&M and New York and Co. make maximizing your budget a little easier - even if navigating through the store is a bit harder. Every store plots their layout at least six months in advance before you see what’s available. Their layout makes it really easy to over-spend and blow your budget. Before you shop, here are some tips to avoid that will help you avoid in-store traps that can lead to over-spending when looking to upgrade your wardrobe.

Before you begin your shopping spree, think about what look you want to achieve or what you want to add to your wardrobe before walking into the store. If you’re only looking for work out pants at H&M, there is absolutely no reason to walk into the lingerie department. The same can be said for shopping online where it’s even more tempting to add something to your basket from the accessories department when you were really only looking for cute ¾ length leggings for the gym.

So far, this seems easy, right? When you begin your shopping journey, don’t walk around the store. Several laps around the store, looking at every single item you don’t need or want, will only make you tired and irritable, not to mention you will probably pick up a few items you don’t want which will help blow your budget. Think like a man - get in, get out. Keep the idea of what you’re looking for in the forefront of your mind and go searching for it. If you’re looking for a sassy new outfit for work, you probably don’t want to search for it in the section created for evening attire.

Logically, you think “but there might be a shirt that would go so well under this blazer in another section!” We’ve been trained by stores to believe that we can find items to mix and match in other departments. While it’s true, it’s also a good way to over spend. Stores like Forever21 organize their layout based on genre of clothing and then it goes by color. They make shopping easier for customers in that respect but they also overload our senses by jam packing their store with too many things to choose from. Avoid the trap and ask for help. When your senses are overloaded, it’s best to take a step back, find a clerk and ask where you can find something before you walk around and pick out six t-shirts you don’t need or want.

So, you’ve got an idea of what you want and what you’re looking for - you know the layout of the store like the back of your hand and you think you’ve avoided all the traps but there’s one more trap left. Accessories. You can find accessories that match your outfit without a problem - it’s the hidden accessories that cause your budget to collapse. These are the accessories that are “hidden” in plain sight - at the counter. If you’re looking for something specific - a large beaded necklace to go with your black tunic; a chunky ring to offset your skinny jeans; or a pair of tall boots - don’t go for the knitted hat at the register just because you “think” it might go well with a coat you had in mind to buy for next month. Picking up random things that don’t go with the outfit you’re looking to create will cause your wallet to deflate.

Shop smartly - know what you want before you go searching for it. Can’t find what you want in the store? Go to another one. There is no harm in walking out of a store or looking at another website if you can’t find what you want.

Scapegoat - this is what it feels like

2010-11-22T22:21:00.002+02:00

Over the last few weeks I've been seeing my name appear in the press. Ellen DeGeneres is NOT knocking on my door to hear what I have to say BUT many people are saying I'm not American and should renounce my US citizenship while others are telling me to leave Israel because I clearly don't care about the State of Israel. Where would I go? Canada? Probably not.

Today, I game across a blog post about me that really just bothered me. Feel free to read the post if you wish but it's a bunch of bologna. Seriously. This experience in the press taught me that I became a scapegoat for a cause the media created. I became the poster child for a cause that has no meaning. My name is being associated with all that is evil with the State of Israel. Rather than propelling the country to change how it handles marriages and marriage licenses, anti-Israel groups are saying "see! The State of Israel hates it's own!"

I wanted to be the face of what happens every day here in Israel when you try to get married. I wanted to put a face to the problem of religious in-equality in the country that I love so dearly. I wanted to show the State of Israel that it needs to change - no longer can you tell someone that it's OK for them to die in battle as a Jew but they aren't Jewish enough to get married.

Instead, I feel like I brought shame to my family.

This is the first time that I cried about this issue since we went to the Rabbanut in the first place. I let myself down. I let others just like me down. The media used me for nothing.

I will make two things clear:
1) I am a Jew - no matter what anyone says.
2) I have never and will never use my family heritage to make myself popular or famous. That's what my political career and published books will be for.

I lost friends because of this and, in all honesty, they weren't really my friends to begin with if they chose not to stand by my side. In reality, until they go through what I've gone through and what others just like me have gone through - they'll never know how terrible it feels to be in limbo.

In Israel, when you're going to get married, you have lessons with the Rabbi or a his wife (or a member of the community). They teach you how to be a good spouse - you can lean on them for support. A friend of mine will be married at the end of December and I am envious of her relationship with her marriage teacher. With all the other issues the man and I had to deal with while getting married - I needed someone there to hold my hand. Someone who understood. I didn't really have that. My friend is lucky - she has her mentor to lean on. I got to sit back and watch my husband's heart break as he walked down the aisle with his great-uncle instead of his father. I watched him sit quietly as my family was buzzing around me during our rehearsal dinner and he had no one there but a few friends. When my make up artist wanted to kick him out of the room so it'd be a surprise when he saw me for the first time - I said "Haim, where's he gonna go? The lobby?"

I needed that older Jewish woman to cry to. My family both in the US and in Israel didn't understand what we were going through. Regardless, some moron decided to write a post about how I am dissatisfied with the system. He's partially right - I am dissatisfied. The system itself is in place for a reason and I respect it - I am dissatisfied with how it was handled. I am dissatisfied with the people they put in positions of authority who can't read English or Russian - two of Israel's main languages. I am dissatisfied with the lack of accountability. This is not what David Ben Gurion envisioned and Theodore Herzl is rolling in his grave right now. This is supposed be the home of the JEWISH people. The home for Jews who seek refuge. I sought refuge and then was told I wasn't Jewish enough.

Television... how I love thee

2010-11-17T21:46:00.002+02:00

I'm catching up on my television shows. I love TV. I love it more when I can watch it on my computer. I also love it when there are TV shows out there that make me feel good and happy. Among my favorites: Parenthood, Mike and Molly, and Hawaii Five-0.

I'm not the biggest Scott Caan fan - he was kind of a douche on Entourage ... and everything else he's been in. You know who I do like? Alex O'Loughlin. You may remember him from the Jennifer Lopez film... wait, what was the name of that film? Ahhh well, no worries. If I wasn't married - I'd high tail it to LA and stalk him or Jason Segal. Granted, there's a clause in marriage that states if you're trapped in a room with one of your "five" - you can go for it. Wait, that may not actually be a clause in marriage. I think I saw it on Friends. It SHOULD be a clause in marriage.

Anyway, Mike and Molly is my "feel good" show. There's nothing like watching two people fall in love on screen. There's something very believable about these two. Maybe it's Mike's daftness when it comes to dealing with women. Perhaps it's Molly's big heart in wanting to trust a guy who has no reason to hurt her. Regardless, I REALLY love this show. It's kind of realistic. Kind of.

My other favorite show: Parenthood - a modern take on the classic movie. The reason I love it - it IS realistic. It reminds me of my own family. The fighting, the issues, the slip of the tongue and someone's business becomes everyone's business... it's really JUST LIKE my family.

What are YOUR favorite shows? Are you gearing up for Black Friday? Stay tuned, I have some great coupons headed your way for Black Friday and Cyber Monday...

Girlie Issues - I gots 'em

2010-11-15T15:02:00.003+02:00

A few weeks ago, I went to my lady-part doctor and had some routine tests done. I went to him for one thing and he decided to run the full work up of tests because I was there and it was time. I didn't think much of it when he did a PAP smear. I confided in my oldest sister that I was nervous to go to the gyno because I was afraid he'd find something.

I had reason to be nervous.

He called yesterday to tell me I needed to come in to sit with him. The conversation went something like this:

HG: Is everything OK?

Dr.: Well, not exactly. Some things came out looking weird.

HG: Can you expand on that?

Dr.: Not really. You need to see a specialist first and I need to give you a piece of paper in order to refer you.

HG: So, I'm not ok?

Dr.: Well, you're healthy - except your cholesterol and stuff but the test came back looking weird.

HG: Can you tell me what's going on?

Dr.: No.

HG: Why?

Dr.: Because I know you'll go home and search on WebMD. Make an appointment and come in.

There's nothing going through my mind right now except "OMFG WTF!!" Work is kind of an after thought right now. I spoke with my oldest sister last night because she could tell via IM that I was wigging out. I kept it together all day yesterday until the man and his visiting cousin went to get ice cream - then I lost it. This is the bazillionth time I've heard the "C" word this year. Cancercancercancercancercancercancercancer... running through my head. OK, maybe not RIGHT NOW - but it was.

Can we say "worst timing... EVER?" I'm in the middle of enjoying the whole newly wed thing while Craig's in school and I'm finishing my Senior Thesis Paper! Horrid timing. Really.

I have my dad's voice in the back of my head saying "you'll know when it's time to worry. Until then, don't."

So, I'm trying not to but it's really hard when there's an issue with a lady part. It's like I'm broken down there and I didn't even know it. YIKES! How does someone become broken in the lady areas?

Tonight, when I retire to my house, I'll be drinking a big glass of something ... large glass. Perhaps multiple glasses. Here's to finding out what's broke! Bottoms up!

My Bubba

2010-11-01T21:23:00.009+02:00

So, if you're not familiar with Eastern European Jewry, grandmothers are often called Bubbie or, in my case, Bubba rather than "Grandma". Granted, in my case, I have a Bubba and a Gram. Grandfathers are often called Zeide, Zeidy, or Ziedy (pronounced Zaydeh, Zaydee, or Zeyedee) instead of "Granddad". In my case, I have a Big Z (Zeyedee) and I had a Papa.
Every Shabbat my Dad's parents call to wish me a "Good Shabbos" and each week I am entertained by my grandparents. This past weekend was no exception. Our conversation went something like this:Big Z: Good Shabbos, Maideleh. What are you doing?
Hil: I'm making a pea soup.
Big Z: A what?
Hil: A PEA SOUP.
Big Z: You're a chip off the old block! Here talk to your Bubba - I can't hear anything!
(My grandfather just got two new hearing aids)
Bubba: Hi Maideleh, Good Shabbos to you! How are you? What are you making?
(She said this VERY quickly)
Hil: I'm making a pea soup.Bubba: Really? I used to make pea soup but I never taught you how to make it. You don't even like pea soup. Do you? My kids don't like me making pea soup because it has too many calories and too much fat!
Hil: I didn't know I liked it until last year but it's pretty easy to make. I'm also making a banana cake.
Bubba: You are? How do you know how to bake? I never taught you how to make a banana cake. Good luck to you. Give your honey a kiss for me. Good Shabbos.

... and she hung up the phone.

I am often entertained by my Bubba. She keeps me laughing and I tell her stupid jokes. She always tells all of her grand kids that she loves us equally but I know that moving to the Holy Land broke her heart.

Here's a little background info on my Bubba:
She was born in Poland, lost her mother at age 8, lived through the Holocaust and moved to the United States with my Zeidy rather than moving to Israel with the rest of her family. Moving to the U.S. was hard because she didn't have any family but family legend (and my aunt) says that my great-grandfather never forgave her for moving so far away from him.

Fast forward many years - her granddaughter (me) moves to Israel and the torn feelings erupt again.

Since moving to Israel, I've become quite good and listening for anything that might seem off with my grandparents - be it a crackle in their voices or the emotion that comes through the phone. I can't physically see them get older but I can hear it.

A few weeks ago, when speaking to my Bubba just before Shabbat, she asked me when we're going to start trying to have kids. I told her we're already trying and she said "good - have a lot of children. I taught you well, you'll know what I mean when you have kids." In truth, I already know what she meant by that. I worry the same way she does, I fret over people and constantly feed my friends, and I carry the weight of my family on my shoulders. My Bubba taught me that without family, you have nothing.

While my Bubba may not have taught me how to bake, she did give me one recipe that I indulged in making for a friend's engagement party. She used to make blueberry piershgies (pronounced: pee-airsh-gees). They are a Polish dessert that my Bubba passed along to all of us. The dessert itself is fairly easy although I make it differently than my Bubba. The taste is the same but my way is easier.

You can either buy puff pastry dough in the store or make it on your own with this recipe.

12 oz. (2-1/2 cups) cold flour
3/4 tsp. salt
12 oz. (24 Tbs.) cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces
6 oz. (3/4 cup) very cold water

Sift the flour and salt onto the cold cubes of butter. Using a pastry scraper or a large chef's knife, cut the butter into the flour. Work until you have a crumbly mixture. Flatten any large chunks of butter with just your fingertips. Add the ice-cold water a little at a time to loosely bind the dough. Mix the dough with the pastry scraper until it just hangs together. Shape the messy, shaggy dough into a rough rectangle and roll it out until it's 1/2 inch thick. Resist the temptation to overwater or overwork the dough; it will eventually hold together.

Use the pastry scraper to fold the dough in thirds like a business letter. Don't worry if it folds in pieces. Turn the package of dough 90 degrees so the folds run vertically. Square off the edges of the dough as you work. Roll the dough into a rectangle that's 1/2 inch thick, always rolling from open end to open end. Continue rolling, folding, and turning until the dough looks smooth. By four or five "turns," the dough should hang together well.

For even more layers, fold the smooth dough up like a book. To do this, fold the two shorter sides into the center and then fold the dough like a book. Brush off excess flour as you fold. Wrap the dough and chill it for half an hour before giving it two final turns. At this point, you can then use the dough, though another short rest will make rolling and shaping easier.

Filling:

3 cups blueberries

1/2 cup sugar

1 tsp. cinnamon

1 egg whisked with water for an egg wash

After your dough is made, preheat your oven to 350degrees.

In a bowl, mix your blueberries with half of the sugar and half of the cinnamon.

Roll out your dough and cut large circles about the size of your hand.

In the center of each circle, place a big spoonful of blueberries. Bring the outer edges of the dough together and pinch closed (you can press it with a fork if you need to). Make sure there are no openings in the dough.

Place the piershgie upside down on a baking sheet lined with wax paper.

Continue the process until you're out of dough and blueberries.

Once all of the piershgies are upside down, take your egg wash and lightly brush the dough.

Take the remaining sugar and cinnamon and mix it together in a dry bowl. Lightly dust the piershgies with the mixture.

Stick the baking sheet in the oven for 25-30 minutes. Check every few minutes after that to see if the pastries are golden brown.

Once they brown, take them out of the oven and let them cool. Carefully place them on a cooling rack until properly cool.

There you have it! My Bubba's piershgies. I won't lie and say I don't cheat and use store bought puff pastry - I do. My Bubba also prefers yeast dough and I prefer flaky dough. In reality, they turn out the same.

From our house to yours - don't forget that my Bubba can teach you to cook, too! Just not banana cake.

I have a crush on... who?

2010-10-27T09:24:00.003+02:00

Once upon a time when I was starting a new year at university, I developed a teeeny, tiiiiny, little crush on a guy in my class. OK, that's a lie. I really liked him. It was before the man and I started dating. This guy wound up leaving school for a semester and the man and I started dating.

The rest should be history. Should be. But it's not.

I'm finishing up my degree and low and behold - he's in some of my classes. Yay.

My first week of class, I was FREAKED OUT. It's weird to be married and wonder about old crushes. Right? Am I wrong?

Either way, by this point, I hit a realization ... he ain't all that. (Think of me saying it in a sassy tone with a neck move)

He's not my husband. He doesn't even compare to my husband. When I see him in class, I smile because he doesn't add up to anything close to how awesome my husband actually is!

So, I have a crush - I still do. I have a crush on someone but it's the person I'm SUPPOSED to have a crush on. I have a crush on my husband and I hope I ALWAYS crush on my hubby.

I mean, C'MON! Look at this face - how could I not??

He's awesome! Come follow us on our other blog.

Let'r rrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppppp and let go!

2010-10-26T11:27:00.002+02:00

Ok, it's not what you think. I swear!

I'm letting go. I'm letting go of A LOT!

You all know I want kids. I really do. I want a baby. My body is telling me otherwise right now. So, I'm letting go.

It dawned on me a week ago after talking to one of my sisters that getting pregnant is hard work but women have been conceiving children for A LONG TIME - so why do I need to rely on ovulation predictor kits (OPK) and tracking when the old fashioned way seemed to work for so many people?

So, I'm letting go.

A few days ago, I wrote a post about our new car. I was a bit freaked out about paying for yet another expense. I'm letting go. I'm just going to deal with it. We're going to cut back on unnecessary expenses.

Day in and day out I deal with other bloggers and I constantly come across great blogs that talk about raising 3 kids on a tiny little budget. I don't have kids - we do have dogs but I think we can handle rent, a car, and our other needs within our budget range. It'll take a few months to get into the black again but I'm letting go. I won't freak out about only eating rice for the next few months (although, if it happens, I'm OK with it).

In honor of my new found fondness for letting go, I am leaving you with a recipe I will make for dinner tonight courtesy of allrecipes.com!

I'll tell you how it turns out...

Baked Rice and Vegetables in Broth

Ingredients

3/4 cup uncooked long-grain rice
1 tablespoon uncooked wild rice
1/4 cup uncooked brown rice
1/4 cup sliced fresh mushrooms
1/4 chopped fresh broccoli
1/4 cup chopped carrots
1/4 cup chopped red bell pepper
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dried onion flakes
1 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 1/2 cups vegetable broth

Directions

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
In a 9 x 13 inch baking dish combine white rice, wild rice, brown rice, mushrooms, broccoli, carrots, bell pepper, onion, salt, onion flakes, paprika, black pepper and broth. Mix well; cover.
Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes, or until cooked through; stir once during baking.

Whoa...Whoa... Woe?

2010-10-24T17:31:00.003+02:00

I try really hard to steer clear of the "woe is me" type of post. I don't really need pity. Having stated that, I am still the granddaughter of two Jewish women who made "woe is me" their mantra.

I'm grateful for my life - eternally grateful. I have a husband that loves me. I'm *almost* done with my degree. I have a job ... that I usually love. I have two great dogs who live and breathe for their "mom"... and follow me around the house. I have great friends. Life is pretty good!

Yet, there's a downside.

Our car broke... AGAIN... and while the repair was super cheap - I hate driving a car that is unreliable. There. I said it. The Black Panther is unreliable. When we bought the car a year ago, it seemed like a good investment. It turns out, it wasn't.

The man and I weren't going to lease a new car until we were 8 months pregnant with a kid. Unfortunately, the time has come for us to lease a car or for me to deal with being sick on the bus. So, now we're getting a new car. You're probably wondering what the downside is... how are we going to afford a new car?!?!?!?!

Yeah, that's the downside. We're students. We're broke.

I told the man that I am OK with eating nothing but noodles and rice for the next few months if that means we can save a little money. Now that I'm thinking about it - our dogs will eat better than we do. Yay.

Any advice?

Scared.

2010-10-18T16:15:00.002+02:00

I want a baby.

There. I said it. I want kids. Lots of them. As many as we can afford... which may not be "lots".

When I was around six-years-old, I apparently told my Mom I was never having children because child birth hurt too much. I told her I would adopt. I am no longer afraid of the pain from child birth... but I still want to adopt.

Now, I'm scared. I was told a while ago that it would be hard for the man and I to conceive. Not impossible. Just hard. I'm petrified.

I want a baby.

While this may seem uber gross, I'm late. I've peed on 9 sticks. All of them negative. But I'm late.

We're headed to the doctor tomorrow to see what my ever-so-brilliant doctor has to say. I will face the normal questions about birth control, my diet, exercise, excessive weight loss (I wish!)...etc. I will answer them all to the best of my ability and pray he sends me for a blood test.

Here's what I'm worried about: after the blood test - what if something is wrong.

I've spoken with my sisters, my mom, my stepmom and yet no amount of "I'm sure it's all OK" makes me feel more confident that I'm OK. They don't live in my body! They don't see how much pain I'm in on a normal day - so I really don't expect them to understand why I'm a little freaked out that 9 sticks said "no" but my body is late (which has never happened).

It's times like these that I wish my Gram was in a better frame of mind. She was always really easy for me to talk to (when she wasn't yelling at me to wear a dress or put on lipstick...which I actually did today). My Gram was always really good at calming my fears. The man doesn't get it because, well, he's a man but we're both a little freaked out.

I guess, all I can do is hope for the best... right?

What am I...

2010-09-04T23:30:00.000+03:00

... a shrink?

I ask myself that question a lot. I've been asking myself that question a lot since I was about 14. My friends used to come to me with their problems about boys or girls and I happily obliged in helping them sort out their issues.

Recently (OK, since just before the wedding) three of my friends came to me for help with their private lives. My friends had the same problem but in very different aspects.

One friend is just out of a relationship that ended because it just wasn't working. Now she feels a little lost in what she wants from men ... and especially what she wants from "the one".

Another friend is in a relationship and is trying to figure out if her man is "the one".

The third friend is married and facing a problem in her marriage. A major problem.

OK, I won't go into details because, let's face it, this is not my private life. They came to me for advice.

I am going to take a minute to mention that I've been married for all of a minute. Really, just about a minute. But, for some reason, the girl who didn't get her first real boyfriend until 16 has been trusted in giving advice in the realm of love since a very early age. The girl who had the most horrendous experiences in love is somehow entrusted with help other people with their love lives. WHY??!?!?!

Because I'm honest.

I'm considering adding on a section to the blog where people can write in their questions and I'll give them my honest advice. What do you think? Do you think it's a good idea?

A Spell

2010-08-24T09:42:00.000+03:00

Does anyone watch the Show "Army Wives"? I watched Sunday night's season finale last night and WOW did I cry. My emotions were all over the place!

I've been having a rough week and it's only Tuesday. Work stuff aside, I broke out into hives yesterday for no apparent reason. Since Lupus runs in my family (as well as a few boutique auto immune diseases) - my first reaction was NOT to run to the doctor.

I know. That does NOT seem like me at all.

I figured I'd give it a few days, see if they die down (maybe they are from the hell-like temperatures we're enduring here) - and if they don't, then I'll run like hell to the doctor.

I often check out my favorite symptom checker but WebMD is not my friend. However, it is HILARIOUS! While this may be a serious symptom of some disorder, I couldn't help but laugh at "craving to eat ice, dirt, or paper" as a symptom. How the three things are related, I have no idea. I crave ice in the summer because it's hot as hell outside. Dirt and paper - not so much.

My favorite symptom on WebMD is "Loss of Motivation"... yes, I have that. I have a lot of that.

I'm hoping my spell of hives will die down and my appetite will come back. I'd also like my emotions to not be all over the place. Note to self: don't watch sad TV that you know will make you cry when you're already sad and stressed. It'll just make it worse.

Anyone else experiencing appetite loss? Do you ever order food at a restaurant when you're hungry - then you get the food and it makes you want to vomit? That's been me for the past few days! Anyone want to google those symptoms?

I'm a Jew... kinda?

2010-08-01T10:16:00.000+03:00

Last Friday, an awesome article came out in the Israeli newspaper - Ha'Aretz - about me and my struggle to be recognized as a Jew in Israel in order to get married here. The response was overwhelming but I felt the need to make a few things clear:
- My Judaism wasn't the only one in question. So for all the idiots that wrote that I am ruining Craig's Jewish identity - HE WAS TOLD THE SAME AS ME ("you're Judaism needs to be validated.") - so suck it.
- My MATERNAL Grandmother is a survivor of the Auschwitz-Birkenau death camp ... so don't ever tell me that my mother is not a Jew. I respect her relationship with g-d and she grew up in a time when you had the shit kicked out of you for being a Jew.
- I am not by any means of Saxon origin. I'm Polish and Hungarian. That's it. I look like a Polish Jew. I cook like a Hungarian Jew. I don't look ANYTHING like a Saxon.
- I am not riding the coat-tails of my father's family. Most people never knew that I am a decedent of Nachum Sokolow. I don't get ahead in Israeli society because of it and most Americans have no idea who he was. Regardless, I make my own story and follow my own path - not that of someone else.
- I will not convert for any reason. Why should I have to?

And FINALLY...

- I AM A JEW. If I'm Jewish enough to be hated by the world, I am Jewish enough to get married in the Jewish State. No one should EVER tell me otherwise.

Idiots will always be idiots. Haters will always hate. At the end of the day, I will still marry Craig and the Rabbanut cannot stop that.

I'm in the NEWSPAPER!

2010-07-30T08:01:00.000+03:00

For a while, I've been documenting what's been going on with our wedding and any issues we've faced. Needless to say, I don't think my siblings ever faced what Craig and I have dealt with recently. Given a new conversion bill on the parliament floor, newspapers all over Israel have been scrambling to find people here that either chose to get married abroad in order not to face the Rabbinical Courts or were forced to marry abroad after facing the Rabbinical Courts.

My story was published in Haaretz (the land) Newspaper. We made the front page. It helps that my great-great Uncle was a Zionist leader.

Before you read it, I want to take the opportunity to thank Raphael Ahren for publishing my story. I hope it brings some much needed social change.

For a nicer version, the article can be found on Haaretz.

Sokolow's niece 'not Jewish enough' to marry here

After being told she needed to prove the Jewishness of her maternal lineage for four generations, Hillary Rubin is questioning her decision to move to Israel.

By Raphael Ahren

Hillary Rubin felt she was living out her ancestors' dream when she decided to move to Israel in 2006. Now she says she is being forced to leave the country to fulfill her own dream - getting married.
"Zionism runs in my family," the Detroit native says, adding that her grandfather's uncle was Zionist leader Nahum Sokolow.

	Sokolow's niece Hillary Rubin

But after filing for a wedding license and being told she needed to prove the Jewishness of her maternal lineage for four generations, she is wondering whether she made the right decision in immigrating to a Jewish state that doubts her Jewishness.

I'm furious with this country right now," the 29-year-old international relations student told Anglo File this week. "I'm the great-great-niece of a prominent Zionist and I am always a supporter of this country, but this really frustrated me and I can totally understand why a lot of my Anglo friends left this country."

Rubin, who was raised in a Conservative household, produced letters from four Conservative rabbis and one Chabad rabbi attesting to her Jewishness. But the Herzliya Rabbinate said the letters were not enough and asked her to bring ketubot, or religious wedding contracts, as well as birth or death certificates of her mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother.

"It was made very clear that without ketubot and without birth certificates from four generations, I would need to go to the Beit Din [local rabbinical court]," Rubin told Anglo File this week. "I told him, time and time again, that my grandparents are Shoah survivors [and thus their ketubot no longer exist] and I was told that wasn't his problem."

The Herzliya Rabbinate responded that it kept to strict standards "of Moses and Israel" for affirming one's faith.
There is no civil marriage in Israel, forcing couples to either go through a local Rabbinate or marry abroad. The Chief Rabbinate recently enacted new guidelines automatically sending marriage candidates whose parents did not wed in Israel to a local rabbinical court to determine whether they are really Jewish.

The new regulations do not specify which documents are needed to conclusively determine a person's Jewishness. It's likely that Rubin's letters would not have proven sufficient for them, according to a rabbi with knowledge of the system.
Rubin fears the rabbinical court might declare her a non-Jew and thus decided to get married without the Rabbinate's blessing. Instead, Rubin and her Johannesburg-born fiance' Craig Glaser will tie the knot in a Conservative ceremony on a moshav in the Sharon region in two weeks. Since Conservative weddings are not recognized by the state, they plan to fly for one day to Cyprus for a civil marriage - an option used by many Israeli couples unable, or unwilling, to satisfy the Rabbinate's demands.

The rabbinical court does not actually declare somebody a non-Jew without proof of their belonging to another religion, but Rubin would still run the risk of being left in the situation of not being officially Jewish by the state's standards should she turn to them.

"At this point, I no longer want to play be their rules. I want to fight what they're doing," Rubin, who observes Shabbat and keeps kosher, said.

When Anglo File called the Rabbinate's marriage department this week, a man who said he was its director but declined to state his name said he remembered the case. He said the couple was referred to the rabbinical court in Tel Aviv to have their Jewishness affirmed, and that before this is done he cannot let them get married. When he learned they had decided to get married in Cyprus to avoid the rabbinical court, he said nonchalantly: "Good for them. We are only marrying people according to the law of Moses and Israel."

Rubin and her fiance' - whose documents were accepted by the rabbinate as valid proof of Jewishness - did not even want to try to convince the rabbinical court that she is a Jew. "I can't provide them with the documents they want. I am the granddaughter of four Holocaust survivors, any documents my grandparents may have had from their families we don't have anymore ... Who has a death certificate from somebody who was gassed to death? These things are frustrating because my grandparents were persecuted for being Jewish, and here I am being told I'm not exactly Jewish."
She is also concerned they might not declare her Jewish because her parents are divorced and she can no longer provide their ketuba. The facts that her parents' get, or bill of divorce, was prepared by a Conservative rabbi and that her mother has since remarried a Catholic would further lead the rabbis to deny her their official stamp of approval, she said.

The young couple believes the consequences of going through the rabbinical court are "much worse" than not going at all.

"It's as if one day you wake up and you're no longer a Jew in the Jewish State but outside Israel you are still Jewish enough to be hated by most of the world," Rubin says. "It's a weird feeling. It's hard enough to grasp the idea that your Judaism may not be valid but then to be told you're not actually Jewish according to the Jewish state - it's ostracizing."

A Love(ly) Holiday - a Contest

2010-07-26T10:48:00.001+03:00

Today is Tu B'Av - or Yom Ahavah (day of love) in the Israeli calendar year. This really is a day about love. The origins date back to the Temple period when young, unmarried women would dress in simple white clothing and sing and dance in the streets of Jerusalem so that men could take their pick and see what's available for marriage.

OK, that last part DID NOT sound so romantic but I look at it from a female empowerment standpoint. Women didn't have to cower in the dark because they were single - they celebrated the fact that they were single and ready for LOOOOOOOVE.

In modern times, single folk still wear white (usually) on this day in order to be "spotted" for marriage. Yom Ahavah is kinda like the Jewish version of Valentines Day. Chocolate and flowers are appropriate gifts.

This Tu B'Av, instead of planning the rest of my wedding, I am fighting with the Rabbanut...still. No no, we're not looking to get married by them anymore... my Masorti wedding is perfect for us. I am fighting so that Jews, like me, don't need to have our Jewishness "verified".

Verify this:

The Contest:

I am giving away one free Max Brenner prize pack. This deliciously medicinal pack comes with:

NUTS - caramelized pecan in a praline paste and fine cocoa powder. 80g/2.8oz

ADDICTION - milk chocolate cubes filled with praline cream and caramelized pecan bits. 40g/1.4oz

CHOCKIES - milk chocolate praline cream rolled in roasted almonds. 80g/2.8oz

FAVORITE - one of Max's favorite chocolates. 40g/1.4oz

How to win (one entry per action unless otherwise stated):

- Follow me on Twitter (then leave me a comment with your Twitter handle and your email address)

- Follow GlassesUSA on Facebook (leave a comment on the facebook wall for GlassesUSA)

- Follow my other blog (leave a comment here to tell me you're following)

- For 2 extra entries, post on your blog that GlassesUSA has a Facebook Fan Page. (Send me the URL when it's posted!)

Make sure you leave your email address in the comment box and leave a comment every time you do something (like follow GlassesUSA on Facebook)! The winner will be drawn on August 9, 2010.

Happy Day of Love everyone!!

Fast Food

2010-07-22T08:32:00.001+03:00

The other day, the man and I were too tired to cook so, instead, we went to McDonalds. Such a HORRID idea. The food is soooo yummy but horrible for my waistline. Especially after I mentioned I'm on a diet.

Stay tuned for my super special "NO FAST FOOD ALLOWED" diet. After the wedding, I will announce my intentions.

For now, watch Mikey and Big Bob

... and don't forget to stop by my NEW blog: Girlie Glasses GURU! (3 blogs... no wonder I never get work done.)

Wedding, schmedding

2010-07-19T16:13:00.000+03:00

Earlier today, I posted an entry about my wedding dilemma. WOW, I totally need help with that one. That post got me thinking about weddings in general. It's a lot of work for one day. It's a lot of B.S. for one day, too.

I am constantly reminded that at the end of the day, I will be with the most amazing man on earth. That much is true but I still have to do the following:
- Rent a car
- Arrange rides for out of town guests to the wedding venue
- Fill the guest bags up
- Buy wedding jewelry
- Go for my trial run for my hair
- Detox my face (I am breaking out REALLY badly)
- Clean my HOUSE!
- Get glasses for the reception.

There's likely some other stuff in there that I'm forgetting (like all the meetings we still have) but for the most part, that's the jist of it. YAY.

I've also started blogging on a new site called the Girlie Glasses Guru. Come over and check it out!

With all this stuff going on, you think my other life would slow down... it hasn't. Any recommendations for de-stressing?

Hectic times...

2010-07-18T13:44:00.000+03:00

My Uncle told me recently that I should be having the time of my life right now since I'm getting married in 3 weeks. Society lies when they tell brides this. There is NOTHING fun about this (except putting together the out of towner baskets... that's fun for me)!

That is my negative rant for today.

Here is my positive rant for today...

I have some of the best friends in the world who care enough about me to put together bachelorette parties although I'm not really the bachelorette party kinda type.

My coworkers are awesome for listening to my rants and craziness.

My doggies make me happy and cuddle with me whenever they get the chance.

Life is pretty good...

... now if I could just get past the crappy wedding-planning part to the fun wedding-planning party...

I'm a STAR!

2010-07-15T17:35:00.001+03:00

I'm a star... in my own head! Watch the video below and you could win a FREE pair of eyeglasses from the company I work for.

What do you think? I look like I'm in pain.

I'm definitely not as cool as these two... but I am wearing my Transformers shirt today...

Being sick... IT SUCKS

2010-07-06T19:59:00.000+03:00

This week has been the week of unexpected crap.

Sunday I saw my GP for a kidney infection.

At 2:30AM Monday morning, I woke up with a pain that can only be described as an alien trying to stab its way out of me through my kidney.

At 6AM I woke up Craig and we promptly went to the hospital. It was the WORST experience I have had in 4 years of being "Israeli". Horrendous.

I felt more like I was in a 3rd world country than in a country that has top medical care.

I saw 3 doctors - 2 of which I almost punched in the face.

At the end, I was told to go home, take some pain pills and drink a lot of water. I was also told that my problem is most likely muscular and not kidney related.

I went home, watched some tv, and cried myself to sleep. I was in a lot of pain.

I woke up this morning, tried to put make up on after taking my shower... and kinda failed. I went to see my doctor, had a few more tests done and was told this was something serious.

How serious?

He doesn't know.

I took an exam on Japan after my appointments. I'm 99.98% sure that I failed the exam. Then again, I have good reason - I was on pain pills that didn't work, or perhaps worked, just not enough. Either way, I was high as a kite.

I came home. I slept. I woke up... in excruciating pain.

I am STILL in excruciating pain.

Life goes on - work has to be done. I have exams to study for and I'm getting married... IN 4 WEEKS!

Yup, there's the kicker.

For now I will play the waiting game but if this keeps on much longer, I am going to rip the stupid thing out myself.

Schmutz in My Head

2010-07-01T11:45:00.000+03:00

Lately, I've had a lot of schmutz taking up space in my brain. For those of you less familiar (or totally unfamiliar) with Yiddish, schmutz basically means dirt. It often refers to dirty things or stuff... I envision my grandmother saying "look at this schmutzedik chazarai on your bed!" Chazarai means messy stuff in Yiddish. There's no real way to explain who to pronounce the CH except that it doesn't sound like the CH in Charlie. It more sounds like you just ate a wheel of cheese and have phlegm stuck in your throat. It's a hard H sound.

That sounds lovely, doesn't it?

This is what I mean when I say I have schmutz in my head! My brain is full with useless information that DOES. NOT. WANT. TO. LEAVE! I have three exams left from this semester.
- Japan (no idea what else to call it except EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT JAPAN!)
- Diplomacy and Negotiation in International Relations
- Turkey (or as I like to call it, a country that should burn in Hell - or rather has a PM that should burn in hell, or go to Iran)

How am I to study for these stupid exams when I have other useless information in my brain?!?

Today, I stared outside my window for 10 minutes. I was watching the fans on the building opposite mine. They were turning. I did this for 10 minutes. That's where my brain is.

My brain is not in the game. My brain is thinking "I know I need to order stuff for the wedding but what was it I was supposed to order again?" My brain is also thinking "wow, I'm hurting today. I feel like I'm swimming in something... what was it I was supposed to take to make this feeling go away?"

Yup. That's me. Unfocused. Distracted. And if I didn't look my age, I could be mistaken for a 7 yea- ooooh, pretty shiny thing!

Taxes, Schmaxes

2010-06-24T09:18:00.000+03:00

As an Israeli citizen and as a US citizen, I am used to having my meager paycheck dwindle down due to helping others. I am ALL for helping others - as long as they try to help themselves as well. I am not a socialist- I am a 100%, red blooded, meat eating capitalist.

So, recently, my awesome step-dad went into H&R Block to ask them how to do my taxes since I am a full time student and full time employee in Israel. For $158, they prepared my taxes and got me a $1000 refund! Yippie!

Problem... I have no US bank account.

Upside - my Israeli bank has branches in New York

Downside - my direct deposited check will likely get REJECTED because my accounted failed to put the prefix of 3 numbers that are supposed to be attached to my bank account number.

Problem... I won't be seeing my money any time soon. It'll get rejected by the bank and the IRS will send a check. Where will they send the check to? No one knows. If it goes to Israel - I will see it in 4 months. If it goes to Michigan, I will see it in July... possibly.

This is why I believe the IRS is a useless entity in the US.

Then end.

Saving Detroit

2010-06-21T13:31:00.000+03:00

I recently had a discussion with a fellow Yid about the city of Detroit. She said to me "no offense but I wish Detroit Jews would give less money to the State of Israel and more money to the City of Detroit. We need it more than you do."

No offense taken.

She's wrong but no offense taken. A $1 million donation to an organization in Israel will go further than a $1 million donation to the City of Detroit.

This got me thinking - what would you do if your hometown was falling apart?

I miss Michigan and I miss Detroit. What bothers me the most about Detroit is that while other cities worked through their problems from the 1980's to make their cities shine in the 1990's... Detroit continued to rot. The US government rebuilt cities all over the world but Detroit continued to decay. There are parts of Detroit that were once glorious but are now devastated.

Another irritating point - there is not ONE organization that helps rebuild the city of Detroit. In Israel, you have so many organizations that take it upon themselves to rebuild communities. Detroiters help rebuild their sector - not the community as a whole.

So, I ask again - what would you do to save your decaying community?

A Jew or Not - Israel's Hypocrisy

2010-06-15T09:42:00.002+03:00

I am Jewish. I was born to a Jewish mother and I am the granddaughter to a woman who survived Auschwitz. I am also the granddaughter to 3 other Holocaust survivors.

I am a Jew.

Or so I thought.

I made Aliyah (immigrated) to Israel on June 6, 2006. That's right, 6/6/06. Funny how life tries to give you little hints like that. My date of arrival should have been a warning.

I am Jewish enough to live in Israel. I am Jewish enough to serve in the Army or do National Service. I am Jewish enough to join a congregation of Jews in prayer at a synagogue.

I may not be Jewish enough to get married in Israel.

There is no option for me to have a civil ceremony here in Israel. I would have to go elsewhere.

Nothing says "Hypocrisy" like the State of Israel.

While I am always a Zionist, I am also very critical of my new home.

I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan. My parents chose to raise us as Conservative Jews. My parents were married at a Conservative synagogue. I was bat mitzvahed at a Conservative synagogue. Everything I have done has been through the Conservative movement.

I'm SCREWED!

When you get married here in Israel and you come from abroad, you risk being told by the Rabbinate that you are not Jewish. That you are living a lie because you were not raised as an Orthodox Jew.

By my own choice, I became shomer Shabbat for a while. By my own choice I went to shul with the Orthodox. I wasn't always Conservative. Yet, none of that matters.

I was Jewish enough to sit in an Orthodox synagogue and participate but I am not Jewish enough to get married in the State of Israel.

What irritates me the most is that I wanted to avoid an altercation with the Rabbinate. I sought help and thought I was going to have a letter from an Orthodox Rabbi stating that I am a Jew. All I had to do was get my mother to meet with him. Or so I thought.

My parent's marriage (that ended around 20 years ago) may not have been valid in Judaism because the Rabbi doesn't know if the witnesses of their marriage were Shomer Shabbat. Who thinks about this stuff when they are getting married???

So, now I may be a bastard child. Or not. I'm not really sure because my parent's marriage was recognized by the State of Michigan as being legal. It is recognized by the Conservative movement and the Bet Din which should mean that it is recognized by the Orthodox movement.

Are you smelling hypocrisy?

So, am I really a Jew? Am I living a lie? Am I without religion?

I was ripped to shreds by an Orthodox woman recently because the company I work for operates on Shabbat. She cried "how can you, as a Jew, let this happen?" My answer: your Rabbi doesn't recognize me as a Jew, so what does it matter?

This is supposed to be a safe haven for all Jews - regardless of how religious or non-religious they are. Was moving here a mistake? Was Theodore Herzl's dream shattered because this place looks more like Tehran at times than Tel Aviv (where bars, shops, and other places are open on Shabbat)?

Am I a Jew? I guess time will tell.

Am I an Israeli Jew?

Or do I fake it well?

Life as I know it...

2010-06-01T10:35:00.000+03:00

Once upon a time, I was a hairdresser and makeup artist. Once upon a time, I worked on fantastic photo shoots and ate the food the models wouldn't eat. Once upon a time, I dated male models who thought I was the smartest person in the world... and funny. Once upon a time, I had my sh*t together.

That was a former life. It was a different time. Instead of making people look pretty and applying makeup on people - I now fight the good fight for Israeli public relations (albeit not a REAL job and certainly not MY real job). Given the incidents yesterday with the Flotilla boat - I feel compelled to say there was no "massacre" of any kind. Here's something to know about the Israeli military: we are NOT weak. If we wanted to massacre a bunch of idiots riding on an old cruise ship with weapons and small children on board - we would have. We are humane.The world needs to leave us alone now.

So, once upon a time, I had a former life. I didn't worry about war. War was something that was in the past and happened in other places. NOW, I live in a place where a war could get in the way of my wedding plans. NOT COOL!

Welcome to life as I know it...

International Students

2010-05-25T09:20:00.000+03:00

The man and I are "international students" at a very posh International School. The average income of the parents who send their kids to this school is more that I will make in a lifetime.

Ever wondered what it's like to go to an International School? Well, it's a lot like going to Harvard.

Craig and I both attend the Interdisciplinary Center's Raphael Recanati International School (RRIS) in Israel. It's an exclusive school based entirely in English and it's been the best 3-4 years of my life.

If you've ever wondered what it was like to go to an International School (not to mention one outside the US) - watch this video. It was made by Craig and his friend, Tal for a video contest.

Please retweet it, post some comments and send this post to your friends to watch! They need to be ranked in the TOP 10!!

Being Jew-ish

2010-05-18T11:18:00.000+03:00

It's rare that I express my feelings on my religion. Wait. No, it's not. I'm a Jew - born, raised and proud. This week marks the anniversary of when g-d handed Moses the commandments. It also marks the day in the Jewish calendar where caloric intake is a dirty phrase. It's SHAVUOT! Shavuos, as my Polish grandmother calls it, is one of my favorite holidays... and, yes, it's for the massive amounts of cheesecake I am allowed to consume because you're only allowed to eat dairy. I know, I know... it should be more about g-d giving the Torah to the Jewish people... but it's not. It's really about my deep love for cheesecake.

Anyway, this holiday tests my patience. Why? Because I KNOW I should be a good Jew and go to the synagogue but the beach sounds like a MUCH better idea. Man plans, G-d laughs. The forecast for tomorrow: cloudy and only 78 degrees. Thanks. A. Lot.

There go my plans.

Instead, I will spend the day with the man... which used to be a regular thing for us but since he's taken a new job (that does not involve him working from home) - we rarely see each other. So this is what 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' feels like. I guess this is what the holidays are meant for - spending time with your family. Yet, it's during holidays, like Shavuot, that I really start to miss my family - mainly my Bubba (grandmother). Last year she asked what we were doing for Shavuot and then yelled at me for not going to see the family. I'm hoping she forgets the holiday this year. In year's past, she always made a big spread for the holiday forgotten by American Jews.

This holiday reminds me that I am Jew... ish. Somewhat traditional, slightly religious... mostly lax. In honor of this holiday - I present you with 2 drawings done on the dry erase board in our Tel Aviv office.

These are drawings of what some call the Messiah... and others call a crazy Rabbi.

Enjoy.

This is also what happens when I am board at work.

I am...

2010-05-13T22:32:00.005+03:00

There are many things I am...

I am a woman.

I am a student.

I am a kick ass director of communications.

I am lovable.

I am a bitch. (Just don't ever call me that)

One other the other things I also am... is a Jew.

Every once in a while I need a little reminder of why I came to Israel. Today, I got it.

Please watch the whole video. If it doesn't play, please go here

... Almost 30

2010-05-12T11:08:00.000+03:00

Today, while we were in class, my classmates were talking about a fight that broke out during student day. The fight happened near 2am and I'm almost positive alcohol was involved. Alcohol and A LOT of testosterone. I happened to mention that by 2am I am long asleep. Someone said "grandma" and I said "that's what happens when you work full time and you're almost 30. Sleep becomes important!" My classmate said "you're not almost 30. You're only, like, 26."

I wish.

Actually, on second thought, no I don't.

I corrected her and said "I just turned 29."

Being "almost 30" gives me a lot of leverage in a class where the average age is 23. I graduated high school almost 11 years ago. Most of my friends are married and have kids. I have hips. And a butt. My body is ready for me to have kids. My mind... not so much. I wouldn't change a thing though. Being my age has given me experience made through choices. Life has thrown me a lotta lemons and I've made a lot of lemonade.

This age has also taught me to swallow my pride and seek help when I need it. In one of my previous posts, I mentioned how I was seeking help from a psychologist. Well, I don't really like her. I've gone through enough therapists in my life to know that when the relationship doesn't click - you shouldn't continue. That's kinda how I feel right now. Therapists should ask hard questions and get to the root of your problems as well as help you work through your issues. This one didn't. She made me feel badly for being who I am.

I can be an angry person. I don't like that side of me but I also don't like to blame my anger on other people. My anger is mine and mine alone. A therapists job is to help me figure out how I became so angry. A therapist is also there to help me say "no" more often and take more time for me.

Because mine really only made me feel badly for having feelings - I am switching. I am still seeking help... just not from this chick. Being "almost 30" has given me the right to choose. And choose wisely I will.

The End

2010-05-06T14:08:00.000+03:00

I know, I know. You're thinking "the end of WHAT?" Well, certainly it's not the end of this blog. It's the end of my first senior thesis paper. YAY!!! (Crowd Cheers!)

I wrote on a heavy topic: women in Iran and their rights in regards to divorce. Should you choose to read it - let me know... I'll put it up.

This topic made me think about being an American-Israeli woman and what rights I have. When I was a kid, my mom had a dream that I would go to college because when she was younger (and almost out of high school) - she knew she wouldn't get the chance. Women were rarely admitted to great universities after high school in the 1960's. So, what was the point of sending them to high school? So they could learn to sew and cook not so they could learn math and science.

I'll be completing my degree here, in Israel, in January. My majors? International Relations and Middle Eastern Politics and Society. Whooooooa, I am SMART! Or perhaps I am graduating by the skin of my teeth. Either way, it's awesome!

So, what does an American-Israeli want to do when she's finished with school? Make the world a better place... for women. Many of the people I work with on a daily basis are moms who chose to stay home and be with their kids. Some of the other people I work with on a daily basis are moms who work - whether by choice or necessity. When my mom had kids, going to work was a choice - staying at home with your kids was not. It's amazing what has changed within the last 30-40 years.

What scares me most about American women is that we are under the belief that we have the same rights as men. We don't. What terrifies me more is that we have no idea what rights we actually have. We're not equal to men. Companies would rather hire a single female because she's less likely to have children within her first two years working than a married woman who may or may not have a child. A friend of mine went for a job interview wearing her engagement ring and the interviewer asked "are you getting married?" She answered "yes, in September". The interviewer then said "you're not planning on working on your wedding while you're at work, are you?" And he wasn't kidding. She didn't get the job.

The work of my mom's generation made society what it is today. So, let me ask you - what will YOU do for the society and generation YOUR daughter will be in? Think about it.

Luckiest Girl... in the WORLD

2010-04-27T11:50:00.000+03:00

OK, my posts lately have been a bit on the down side. I promise, today breaks that cycle.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

For the last few weeks, I've been majorly stressed - borderline psychotic. The littlest things set me off. Yet, everyday I come home to a loving and patient fiance. The man is AMAZING! I often ask him "why do you put up with me?" And he can't come up with a single reason as to why he WOULDN'T put up with me.

Today, I started thinking about when we began dating. Every day we would send each other text messages tell the other how head over heels we are. We would talk every day. Every weekend was magical.

Then we moved in together.

The text messages became few and far between. The weekends became time to clean the house and spend time with the dog(s). When we get home from work and school, the last thing we want to do is rehash our day. Yet, he always tells me I'm beautiful - even when I feel like crap. He always tells me he loves me - even when I'm not feeling very lovable.

Today, a friend confided to me some relationship issues. It made me realize how lucky I am to have the man.

On August 8, I will be married to the man. He will "officially" be my man. As my dad says, I will "officially" be his problem. I can't wait to be "his problem".

Youth

2010-04-26T10:42:00.000+03:00

This past weekend, I sat down to try to put all my information together for my senior thesis paper. The topic: Women's Rights in Divorce in Iran.

Heavy topic.

Let me tell you, this topic does NOT put you in the mood to snuggle, canoodle, or do anything closely related to that. In fact, it makes you hate men.

How would you like to be married off by your parents at age 14 to a man around age 27? You probably wouldn't like it and by 16, you want a divorce but you have no cause for divorce other than you were married off too young and you don't want to be married.

This is life for women in Iran.

At 29, I have a hard enough time thinking of being married to a 27 year old at my age. Craig is 26 (oooooh lala!).

Anyway, during divorce proceedings, women cry "he's taken my youth! I can never get it back!" and the variants because their youth really was taken away.

This made me think about my upcoming nuptials. As an American and as an Israeli, I have it easy. My mom initiated the divorce with my Dad. Had she been in Iran, he would have needed to be an addict, unfaithful (in a shameful way), or abusive for her to initiate the divorce.

Scary.

Anyway, my gremlin has returned due to all the stress. Wish me luck as I try to knock this sucker outta the ball park this week! It's a heavy topic but it was fascinating to research!

Feelings... nothing more than feelings...

2010-04-21T14:02:00.000+03:00

Wow, I am in a crappy mood today. It's rare that a writer will let you into their real world. Today, you'll get a glimpse of how I'm feeling.

In some of my previous posts, I've written about being stressed out. This takes the cake. I've made myself sick.

I have major anxiety issues right now. Too much work. Too much school. Too much wedding. It's just TOO MUCH. So, how do I deal with it? I don't. That's the problem.

Everything (and everyone) is annoying me lately. I fly off the handle and all I want to do is sleep.

I'm also depressed.

My friends complain to me about their issues and what's going on in their lives and I just want to curl up into a ball and cry.

That's my reality.

I'm usually a very happy person but when I hit a stress spell, I want to be left alone because I don't want to snap at people. Believe me, I snap. Badly.

Since I've returned from the US, I've been in a funk. I miss my family so much it hurts. All the stress from the wedding is getting to me. And my senior thesis paper... well, it hasn't been written yet. The anxiety builds every time someone in my class ask "what do you mean you haven't started writing in yet?" It actually makes me want to harm them.

People keep saying "take time for yourself." I've hit a point in my life where I KNOW I won't get time to myself until I retire.

When do I get a break?

Good Friday

2010-04-02T16:35:00.000+03:00

Happy Friday to all of you out there in internet land. Today is Good Friday. Compared with last Friday, it will be a good Friday indeed. These last two weeks have gone by so quickly. We'll be leaving Michigan in just a few days but it feels like we JUST left Israel to embark on this journey.

Where do I begin?

Americans are nice. The man and I are thrown by this. I grew up as an American and the only contact the man has had with Americans was either through the Army or through school. Needless to say, he loves them. He also loves Michigan. (I know, he's nuts!) It's VERY weird hearing English everywhere. I guess this is what happens when you live in a foreign country.

We're not used to the weather. It's been 30 degrees and now it's 80 degrees. I told the man this would happen. No one believes me. I'm considering selling my coat... I don't need it any more. We're going back to 85 degree weather (YAY for the beach!) and a coat is unnecessary.

The dress is bought. I'll share more on that later in another entry.

This state is beautiful. I thought that coming home to Detroit would make me feel depressed given all the economic crap that's happened here but I was wrong (for the most part). People are in good spirits and they make this state beautiful!

Good Friday to all that celebrate and Good Shabbos to the rest!

Airports and Chaos

2010-03-23T11:03:00.000+02:00

In a recent post, I blogged about being at Ben Gurion airport waiting to come home to Detroit. Well, I'm home. It was a crazy ride to get here, but we're here.

On the ride back to Detroit, Craig and I faced discrimination and out right rudeness. Oddly enough, it wasn't by our airline. When we got to Jordan, the guys at the Cafe tried to scam us. Then we went through security and were treated like criminals due to out Israeli passports. (Mind you, I have an additional passport - an American one...) The woman who patted me down for weapons and the like had NO idea what she was looking for and roughed me up. The two Muslim women that went before me were lightly patted down. I was violated.

The plane ride was fair, the food on Royal Jordanian Airlines was actually good! American airliners can learn from them. Then we got to Canada. Half the plane was let off to their final destination. We were told to stay on the plane. Then told to get off the plane. Every single person who got off that flight (including us and some other white folk) were treated and looked at like terrorists. With an hour and a half to spare in Montreal, we weren't allowed to leave the holding cell...eh, I mean room. A woman nearby looked as if she was going to pass out and asked where to get water. A man working at the airport pointed to some drinking fountains. When she asked where she could retrieve a bottle of water, he balked and told her to sit down.

I handed her my unopened bottle of water from the flight. (I'm Israeli, according to the media, I'm not supposed to be nice to a Muslim person but she was thirsty and I had water to give. An Israeli treated a Muslim woman nicer than a Canadian. Go, write that in the media. It's not uncommon.)

Craig and I were treated well by the staff of Royal Jordanian Airlines - as opposed to the Canadians or Jordanians that dealt with us earlier. Canadians need to learn that not every Middle Easterner is going to hijack a plane or cause utter destruction ... especially not on a flight that serves Halal food. The Jordanians need to learn that Israel has been at peace with Jordan for a long time. Get over it.

Now we're home and I woke up at 4am EST (think 10am Israel time) - jet lag is a b*tch. I miss our dog more than anything (he really is our first born) and I feel lucky to be living between the US and Israel. I couldn't have found two better countries to call home.

Thankful Thursday - Packing a Suitcase Edition

2010-03-18T07:19:00.000+02:00

It's almost time for Craig and I to make our way to my home in the US! WOW! So, in honor of this special occasion, I bring you my Thankful Thursday for today....

As I try to find clothing to pack, I realize that I have a LOT of STUFF! So, naturally, the first thing I am thankful for is: Vacuum Sealed Decompressed Space Saving Travel Bags .... they are simply amazing.

I've been trying to find gifts for my nieces and nephews for the past two weeks. Magically arriving at the PERFECT time was an email from a place called PONGO - I am thankful for them because I need to buy a crapload of awesome shirts to bring home.

This week, I am most thankful to all the wonderful bloggers I've worked with this past month who have helped Heard on the Playground and continue to help spread the funny. We couldn't do this without you!!

Soon enough, we'll be in Detroit and we promise - there WILL be some funny updates.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-17T10:00:00.002+02:00

Old Jaffa. 2005. One year before I became "Israeli".

Five years before I would become Mrs. Glaser.

Best. Summer. Ever...

...until 2010.

I'm a guest blogger

2010-03-12T23:39:00.000+02:00

I'm a guest blogger!!!

Head over to Frugal Creativity to see what I have to say about family together time!!

A big THANK YOU goes to Melissa who let me post on her blog! Follow her!

Israeli Couscous

2010-03-12T22:32:00.000+02:00

I have an addiction. OK, it's not a bad addiction. Well, maybe it is. When I was 21, I went to San Francisco for my cousin's bar mitzvah. My cousin, Miri, made this amazing dish with Israeli couscous. Before moving to the glorious Middle East, I never heard of Israeli couscous or, as it's called in Israel - Ptitim. I fell in love with the dish. I decided to share with you - my readers - my favorite recipe for Israeli couscous.

I found this recipe on Epicurious:
Ingredients

1 1/2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 garlic clove, minced
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium zucchini, cut lengthwise into 1/2-inch-thick slices
1 yellow summer squash, cut lengthwise into 1/2-inch-thick slices
2 red bell peppers, quartered lengthwise
1/2 cup finely chopped red onion
3/4 cup toasted Israeli couscous (4 ounces)
1 3/4 cups chicken broth or water
3 tablespoons thinly sliced fresh basil

Prep
Whisk together balsamic vinegar, garlic, 2 tablespoons oil, and salt and pepper to taste.
Preheat broiler. Toss zucchini, yellow squash, and bell peppers with half of dressing in a large bowl, then marinate 5 minutes.
Broil half of dressed vegetables on oiled rack of a broiler pan 5 to 7 inches from heat, turning over once, until golden brown and tender, about 16 minutes total. Transfer to a cutting board, then broil remaining dressed vegetables in same manner. When cool, cut into 1-inch pieces.
While vegetables are broiling, sauté onion in remaining tablespoon oil in a 4-quart heavy saucepan over moderately high heat, stirring, until softened, then add couscous and sautée, stirring, 2 minutes. Add broth and simmer, covered, until couscous is just tender, 8 to 10 minutes. Stir in broiled vegetables, basil, remaining dressing, and salt and pepper to taste. Serve at room temperature.

I like to serve this dish with broiled or grilled chicken. I also like to pair it with hummous and toasted pine nuts.

Happy Eating!!

Thankfulness - Revisited

2010-03-11T09:25:00.000+02:00

So, it's Thursday in my part of the world and I just received a text message from my gym telling me I haven't been in a while. I've been busy. When you have a life, it's hard to make time for things like exercise. Granted, I walk around my office enough to count as a daily marathon. Anyway, I decided to make a list of things I am grateful for today. Well, another list. This list is comprised of things and people who have made the last two weeks bearable until the man and I leave for the US of A.

The office - yes, I am actually grateful of my office and the people that occupy it. I know, it sounds weird - who REALLY likes their job... but I do. It keeps me busy and I get to help people who need glasses.

My 16 year old nephew - I was told this week that he's keeping a countdown until we get to Detroit. His lovely girlfriend is also excited to meet us and apparently we're taking them to the movies. Jord is one of the most amazing nephews that I have and I'm glad that even though I live far from him, he still feels he can count on me for anything.

My Feminism Professor - she opened my eyes to a different way of think. She broadened my perspective on women's views and how not all women want the same kind of liberation. She's also a reminder of how much work I still have to do to accomplish what I want in the business world as a woman.

Coffee - I'm pretty sure this one is self-explanatory.

The man - normally I would say "damn the man" to be funny but my man is my rock. Yes, there are times I want him as far from me as possible - relationships are not all gushy and mushy, they are real and just like with friends... sometimes you want your own space. Yet, there's no one I'd rather walk this earth with than him.

My Parents - WOW do they keep me on my toes. I've grown closer to my Dad in the past two years. I speak to him at least once a week and he's a constant reminder that people continue growing even as they grow older. My mom is and always will be my rock of reality. I may not always LIKE what she says to me but she's honest with me in a way that most mothers are not.

McDonalds - do not tel my gym this. It's there when I want it and when I'm too tired to make my own food.

Bloggers - it's nice to know there's a world of friends who read what I write and allow me to comment on their lives.

Pickle Face - I am grateful for this picture taken by my best friend after hamburgers one night. Every time I see it, I laugh. Bagel face may follow next week...

That's my list for this week. I'm going to make an honest attempt at making this a weekly post. Stay tuned...

I'm teaching ANOTHER cooking class!!

2010-03-10T09:28:00.000+02:00

OMG, that's right! I'm teaching some MORE lucky people how to cook restaurant-style food for literally next to nothing!

When: Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Time: 7:15-9:30PM
Where: Moldovan, Ya HaT'isha Community Center
Where is that?? It's in a subsection of Herzliya called Yad HaT'isha/Shaviv.
How do I get there? Really simple! From the south, take Derech Yerushalayim past the PAZ gas station and merge to the right onto Har Sinai Street. Take the 3rd exit at the traffic circle and head north on Revivim. To your right will be a shopping center, just past the shopping center is the community center.
How much? Only 25NIS!

That's it? Right! Only 25 shekels to learn how to cook a 3-4 course meal!

To RSVP and save your spot, please send an email to hillaryrubin293@gmail.com and write "I want to cook!" in the subject line!

Please RSVP by March 14, 2010.

Hazmat Suits...

2010-03-09T13:45:00.000+02:00

Living in the Middle East has its ups and its downs. Today, I discovered a new mosquito bite. It's located right above my behind. Lucky me. I have two on my hand and one more on my leg. Yay. I've decided, I'm going to start sleeping in a hazmat suit. The man is already annoyed with me as is because I want him to stay on his side- I can only imagine what he'll think when I start wearing this:

It's highly stylish - don't you think?

Anyway, school is starting to get to me. I need a vacation... badly.

Thankfully, my vacation is but a week and a half away. My vacation and my bridal shower!!!

Wish me luck! Hopefully the bugs will stay away from me for the next two weeks. The last thing I need is my grandmother asking me if I have chicken pox...

Things Learned Today

2010-03-03T22:52:00.000+02:00

Today was one hectic day. Seriously. Meetings. Studying. Wedding stuff. When does it end?? Apparently never. Here are 10 things that I learned today:
1) My wedding shower invites are beautiful!
2) Nigeria has over 250 distinctive cultures within one country.
3) Colonialism was bad... for the people being colonized.
4) People thought I was kidding when I registered for the Nintendo Wii at Target for the wedding shower.
5) When you put rice into chicken broth and leave the two, mixed, in a bowl over night - you will wind up eating chicken flavored rice instead of chicken soup with rice. Still tasty.
6) Sleep is overrated.
7) Falling asleep somewhere other than your bed will make you a target for other people's laughter.
8) I'm pretty sure I'll get sick before the man and I leave for Michigan
9) I find peace through Twitter.
10) I have the best family in the WORLD!!!

Only 18 days until we leave for Michigan!! Whoo hoo!! Leave some love and remember, you have 2 days left to enter the contest!

Happy Wednesday!

Thankfulness

2010-03-03T09:41:00.000+02:00

Early March is always a hard time for me. Two years ago, my grandfather died. I really want to tell you that I had a fabulous relationship with my grandfather. But...I didn't. At least not until I came home for a year and helped take care of him. I learned more about my grandfather in those few short months than I did through most of my life.

My grandfather was a gambler... both in game playing and in life. He took chances that most people would deem insane. In the middle of his life, he packed up and moved with my grandma to Cincinnati. He left 5 grandchildren in Michigan to work as a salesman in Ohio. At the time, I guess my other grandparents couldn't understand how you can do such a thing. But, in reality, my dad's parents were always more grounded than my mother's father. They wanted to settle and plant roots. My other grandfather was not that kind of guy and my grandma went along for the ride.

Looking back on his insane life - Holocaust survivor from Hungary who moved to New York with a new family in tow... - I am amazed at how he walked through life. He took nothing for granted. He had his favorite grandchildren (and no, I wasn't one of the favorites... at least not until he got sick). He had his favorite past times. I can remember watching political debates at his apartment as a 7 year old... and people wonder how I became a republican.

Towards the end of his life, he regretted nothing. He trusted very few. And he finally got to see that I wasn't some aimless kid wandering the world. He pushed me to move back to the Holy Land because he knew it made me happy and at peace.

I will probably write more in the coming weeks about my Papa. I am eternally thankful for having him in my life for as long as I did. He (and my grandma) raised my mom to be this amazingly powerful and strong woman. My papa would tell me, as we would sit in the various doctor's offices, that he never gave my mom enough credit. In his time, women stayed home with their children. But in her time, women worked and raised a family. He had no idea how she did it but he said he never praised her enough for raising three great daughters.

I am thankful for the lessons he taught me and I am grateful that I inherited some of his gambling spirit (in the life kinda way - not the games kinda way). I push boundaries like he did. I do insane things like he did. And the status-quo is not good enough for me (nor was it good enough for him).

Thank you Papa! I miss you.

Kids Say the FUNNIEST Things...

2010-02-26T19:20:00.001+02:00

So, I'm really looking forward to coming back to Detroit. Seriously. I am excited to see Bug and Boo and listen to all the hysterical things they say. Last week, Bug said the funniest thing to me. I asked him what he was doing that day and his answer "eating graham crackers." So, I asked "are you doing this all day?" and he said "uhh... yeah Auntie Hil!" Like I'm supposed to know that. He has some of the funniest and cute kids sayings ever. Maybe I'm just biased.

Anyway, most of you know of my "pet" project - Heardontheplayground.com - so I thought I'd share my funny quote of the day with you:

Cary, 5 - Tennessee

Posted Date: 02-25-2010

Misunderstanding

Mom, you scared the crack out of me (Crap) Funny stuff!! Anyway, I'm running a contest!! WHOO HOO!! You can win a free pair of eyeglasses! How? Go to Heardontheplayground.com and post a funny kid quote or picture. Then, leave a comment here telling me which kid quote is yours (leave the kids name and subject). The more quotes you post, the more entries you have. Want more ways to win? Tweet about heardontheplayground.com! Make sure you put @HeardontheP and @Hilly293 in the tweet and send others to heardontheplayground.com! Good luck! The winner will be drawn on March 5, 2010.

Wordless Wednesday...

2010-02-24T17:13:00.000+02:00

Not the greatest picture of the Poo when blown up but, yes, he IS sleeping in the bed.

Yesterday's Mishegas!

2010-02-16T10:45:00.001+02:00

Yikes! I'm dealing with a lot of stress. Rarely do I write about work so I'm not about to start now but things are a shiftin'. I deal with stress in a rather healthy way - I go to the gym. Usually it leaves me serene and happy after a long day of work or school. Unfortunately, yesterday became the exception.

Our car broke down. Kind of.

There was a problem with the fuel line and it started to jerk which meant I took the day from work (or rather worked from home). The mechanic was nice, as always. Over 100NIS later, the car is good as new. Small price to pay... this time.

The exam.

Oh my. The exam.

Yesterday I had an exam that made my head (and hand) want to explode. Who likes to study about North Africa? I, for one, do not. I wrote 5 pages per question (which has never been done by me before... by hand). I am not sure if those words were coherent but they filled 10 pages.

Let's just say... EPIC FAIL!

Anyway, after my exam I went to the gym. I joined Curves to knock out my anxiety and to lose weight. Most of the instructors are nice but yesterday I encountered one that I want to PUNCH! She is little miss happy but in a butch way. She could probably kick my ass but when I'm already in a mood, the last thing I need is some chick telling me to lift my arms more. I came from my workout even more pissed off than when I walked into the gym. Lovely.

Then there's the wedding...

The man and I are flying back to Detroit in March. A wedding shower will take place. Somehow, drama ensued. For once, I wanted something "drama free" - but how can that be? This is me we're talking about! I love my family and I'm extremely grateful for their generosity but, for once, can I be left out of every...little...detail? If someone's pissed... PLEASE don't tell me. I'm the bride. My job is to open gifts and drink. The man's job is to stand next to me and look as interested as he can in what's going on. Hopefully my dad will take him drinking beforehand.

For more wedding stuff, take a look at our website: the ALMOST New Glasers.

That's enough ranting for one day.

I will leave you what I am grateful for today: my friends outside of work and my friends at work ... the eyeglasses place. They listen to me complain and still tell me that everything will be ok. I am also grateful for iced tea. It's hot outside and iced tea is an amazing invention.

I'm teaching a cooking class!

2010-01-28T12:25:00.002+02:00

OMG, that's right! I'm teaching some lucky people how to cook restaurant-style food for literally next to nothing!

When: Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Time: 7:00-10:00PM
Where: Moldovan, Ya HaT'isha Community Center
Where is that?? It's in a subsection of Herzliya called Yad HaT'isha/Shaviv.
How do I get there? Really simple! From the south, take Derech Yerushalayim past the PAZ gas station and merge to the right onto Har Sinai Street. Take the 3rd exit at the traffic circle and head north on Revivim. To your right will be a shopping center, just past the shopping center is the community center.
How much? Only 25NIS!

That's it? Right! Only 25 shekels to learn how to cook a 3-4 course meal!

To RSVP and save your spot, please send an email to hillaryrubin293@gmail.com and write "I want to cook!" in the subject line!

Please RSVP by January 31st, 2010.

Kids say the funniest things...

2010-01-27T22:35:00.003+02:00

So, a friend of mine asked me to help her with the marketing for her new site Heard on the Playground. It's a funny site with a lot of great potential! People can submit funny comments their kids say and they can also submit funny pictures of their children to be captioned. Think of LOLCATS but with kids.

Anyway, I'm looking for some amazing bloggers to help me with this awesome website! Know of anyone? Send ém my way! Take a look at the site for some cute sayings by some ridiculously funny kids and caption some hysterical pictures of kids doing funny things! Leave me some comment love and let me know what you think!!

In other news, I joined Curves gym yesterday... time to lose 20lbs by the end of March. The last time I lost that much weight, it was done within one month. I credit a broken heart, a hurting bladder, and a loss of appetite... oh yeah, and dexatrim. This time, it will be a healthy diet and plenty of exercise. Awesome! I'll keep you posted on my results. Tomorrow is the first real session... GOOOO ME!

Interesting...

2010-01-25T16:36:00.002+02:00

I came across this blog post while I was working today. This woman talks about the two worlds she happens to be in: the world she lives in and the world she works in. She talks about how those worlds rarely intertwine.

I like what she has to say. It's bold! It's what many people want to say but don't. It's what many people wish would happen but won't light the match that starts the fire.

Read what she has to say and tell me what you think!

Spammy McSpam Spam

2010-01-24T19:32:00.002+02:00

My last post was a look at Israel's involvement in Haiti. Someone commented on my post with a link to something in Russian. While I am flatter that people use my blog for SEO purposes... at least try to be creative about it. As a marketing person, I don't like it when people use my site for spam. I admit to using blogs to help out my business with linked keywords but at least I'm creative about it! I write relevant comments!! This person did not and was punished by having me delete their entry. Booo ya!

That is my rant. Time to study for my China exam.

Haiti

2010-01-23T10:32:00.004+02:00

Most Haitians probably did not know what an Israeli was before the earthquake. Now, thousands of Haitians have been rescued or treated medically by someone in the Israeli rescue team that responded immediately to Haiti's call for help after the 7.o magnitude earthquake. With all the terror and negative PR that Israel receives, I can honestly say as an Israeli that I am proud of the work we're doing in Haiti.

We are first responders. America gives money, clothes, food, water...necessities. We rescue people. We perform surgeries and give medical care to people who have never seen a doctor before but are now facing life-threatening illnesses and diseases. We're doing our part. My tax dollars (well, shekels) are going to help these people. This mission is costing me money. But you won't hear Israelis complaining about that. We're proud!

You know what the sad thing is, we didn't go to Haiti for positive Israeli PR or what we call Hasbara. It just happened. We did something that Israel always does - we rescued people. We got the call for help and took it. Yet, people in the press are taking advantage of our duty to help others - they are taking advantage of our mitzvah. No good deed goes unpunished.

We've done more in Haiti than any other country has been willing to provide. Yet, when it's all over and done with, our mitzvah will be forgotten and the world will go back to hating us. We will be the nasty Israelis who do bad things to Arabs as always. Nevertheless, we are in Haiti now and we're helping those that need help. A man was just rescued 10 days after being covered in rubble by the Israelis. In 10 weeks, the world will forget... but for now, the world loves us.

Want to help Haiti? You can!
Donate via the Yele Haiti Fund
Donate via the American Red Cross online

Other Places
(taken from MTV.com)
Oxfam America is an organization that works in places in need of assistance, using advocacy and education. In the coming weeks, Oxfam will coordinate international aid groups on the ground to bring emergency water and sanitation services to Haiti.

Partners in Health has launched the Stand With Haiti campaign, and the organization makes an effort to bring modern medical care to nine countries around the world. Partners has worked in Haiti for nearly 25 years and, since the earthquake, is currently working to provide medical assistance.

The World Food Programme is an organization that makes sure food gets distributed to people and helps victims of war, civil conflict and natural disasters. After the initial emergency has passed, the group continues sending food to the country to help rebuild communities. It is one of the charities involved in the "Hope for Haiti Now" telethon.

Direct Relief International is a U.S.-based organization that provides medical assistance to impoverished nations, and has committed up to $1 million to aid emergency response efforts. Already, they have sent two 40-by-20-foot containers packed with more than $420,000 of medicine, supplies and food to St. Damien Children's Hospital in Port-au-Prince.

World Vision has worked in Haiti for 30 years, and is seeking donations to provide victims with food, water, blankets and tents.

Operation USA already operates in Haiti, and is sending medical aid, water-purification supplies and food supplements to the nation.

Convoy of Hope has established a command center just outside of Port-au-Prince, and is distributing food, water and supplies to the victims of the earthquake.

Samaritan's Purse is a Christian organization that, for over 35 years, has provided assistance to victims of natural disaster, war, disease and famine. In Haiti, they are helping survivors with food, water and temporary shelter.

The Salvation Army is mobilizing personnel and supplies to assist in the relief effort in Haiti, according to a representative from the organization. The Salvation Army has already dedicated $850,000 in direct aid to the country; further donations can be made at its Web site or by calling 1-800-SAL-ARMY. The Salvation Army is also collecting $5 dollar donations by text. Mobile phone users in the United States can text the word HAITI to 52000.

How does she do it?

2010-01-11T23:19:00.002+02:00

Let's be honest, no one likes a sob story in a blog. Boo hoo hoo, life kinda sucks. Lately, I've been trying to find the happy balance between work, school, community service, and being engaged. My friends are used to me being a crappy friend (sorry!) and my family is used to me not calling as often. Even my bosses are used to me slacking a bit... but me slacking off at work is what most people would call a normal pace. Apparently, people believe that I am superhuman. Alas, I am not.

I spend my days writing about eyeglasses and fashion but in truth, I'm a published writer... not just a blogger. People have paid me to write stuff!! Yet, my writing wasn't enough for a recent paper I wrote where my TA basically bitch-slapped me ... with words. It shook my confidence as a writer and scared the living daylights outta me as a future politician/diplomat/world saver.

Where is the balance? When does life slow down a bit ... or at least slow down enough for me to stop and actually enjoy my surroundings? When do I win the lotto? Wait, that last one WILL happen. But still... WHEN??

On the bright side, my nephew turns 16 tomorrow... and he will be released into the world as a new driver. Good luck on the streets of Metro Detroit!! All kidding aside, I think it's a great thing. But when did I get so old? Am I old enough to have a 16 year old nephew? Craig has a 17 year old brother... this is just weird.

Anyway, when people hear about all the things that keep me busy, they ask "how does she do it?" The answer is: she doesn't. I often can't keep things straight. I am rarely on time for anything and I almost never remember appointments. Lucky me. And good luck with my wedding planning.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

"Slow down, you crazy child... you're so ambitious for a juvenile..." - Billy Joel

Things that are (almost) broken

2010-01-08T17:37:00.001+02:00

The washing machine is almost broken... so I give you this humor instead:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Dear Google...

2010-01-04T12:17:00.002+02:00

Dearest Google,
I use you a lot. I am a user. I know, I apologize. But WHY oh WHY do you like to screw me over by constantly lowering my page ranking???? I might start using you less if you don't improve my page ranking.

You hear that? Bing, here I come. Grrrrrrr. I am not a woman to be messed with.

Sincerely,
Hillary

Eyeglasses

2010-01-03T12:14:00.001+02:00

Eyeglasses are not the hardest things in the world to sell but they are really hard to sell when people don't buy more than one pair in a year.

New Year, New ...??

2010-01-01T15:09:00.002+02:00

Welcome to 2010! This is what I thought when I woke up this morning. Granted, I fell asleep at 11:30pm - 1/2 an hour short of new years. It's ok though. I don't think I missed much. New Years Eve has usually always been a disappointment. One of my favorite New Years Eves was spent with my friend Sherry when we were about 21. It was the two of us and a bunch of guys. Granted, they are mostly all doctors now but at the time we were chillin' at someone's dad's house, drinking cheap alcohol and eating a ton of taco bell.

It's 2010. How did I spend December 31, 2009? In school and at work. I had my seminar class until 8:15pm ... and that was the highlight of my day. I've really taken to the history of Iranian women and the laws behind why they have no rights. When I came home, I was wiped out with a headache.

I woke up at 8AM on January 1st, 2010 thanking the lord that there's no snow where we live and feeling blessed that it was warm out. Not shorts and sandals warm but warm. I started to think of what resolutions I should create and then break for at random points through the year. Here's my list:
1) Make an awesome wedding registry at Bed, Bath, and Beyond as well as Target.
2) Lose 10 kilo (think 25lbs). I have no idea how to master this one but I think I need to go to a gym or something.
3) Stress less. Again, no idea how to master this one but that leads me to #4...
4) Learn how to cook "healthy" foods. Since cooking is a stress reliever for me, I might as well learn how to cook things that don't make me gain weight.
5) Spend more time with Craig.
6) Learn Korean. Stop laughing. It'll happen.
7) Plot my entrance into Detroit politics for sometime in the future.
8) Save more money.
9) Spend more time with my friends. Sorry, in 2009 - work got in the way.
10) FINALLY work on my book!! My friend, Steve, did it - so I can too!

That's my list. Head over to our other blog - Meet the New Glasers - for a few things that might end up on our registry.

Happy 2010! May this year be better than the last... and with less health issues.

see more dog and puppy pictures

Things to look forward to...

2009-12-31T18:57:00.004+02:00

In March 2010, I will return to Detroit since I left on September 12, 2008. Wow, nearly 1.2 years will have gone by since I returned to Detroit. Now, I'm not exactly fond of Detroit but there is something about being from Detroit that never leaves you - no matter how much you try. I am very excited to return home, if only for a vacation.

So, what do I miss about Detroit?

My family: I really miss my family. Which goes without saying. I miss my tv nights with my mom; dinners with my dad and stepmom; Costco runs with my sister Kim and her kids; Trash-talking with my sister, Jodi; and all around chillin' with my family.

My friends: Of course I miss my friends. I miss dinners with Gayle; lunches with Talya; bumming around with Sherry; trips to Ann Arbor with Michele and Seth...etc. I miss the all around good times.

Restaurants: I miss Buddy's Pizza like you would not believe. As Israeli as I am, I also miss Yossi's Israeli Cuisine - I can get this stuff at home AND in Detroit. I miss the Honey Tree and Greek food. I also miss Leo's. Coney's are a big miss here in Israel. No one does hot dogs quite like Leo's Coney Island. If you'll notice, none of these places are particularly healthy.

The Tigers: I miss baseball. 'Nuff said.

When Craig and I go visit Detroit, we'll hit up the Detroit Zoo, the Henry Ford Museum, the Holocaust Memorial Museum, Comerica Park, Ann Arbor ... and SO much more.

For now, cross your fingers and say a prayer so that Craig will actually get a visa this time.

Happy Almost 2010!

Goodbye 2009! Hello 2010!

2009-12-30T22:16:00.003+02:00

What a crazy year! I cannot believe what an amazing year it's been. Last year, around this time, I was on a date with a low-life Israeli who had this fantastic idea that he would call me once a month to take me out to coffee and see how far he could get. Little did he know that by his call in January - I'd be taken by the most amazing man! Who would have known that by the end of May, I'd agree to be his wife! By July we moved in together and the wedding is in 8 short months!

It's never a dull moment with us. I'm lucky to have found someone who agrees to let me call the dog "Poo" because he also thinks it's funny. We have a great time together and I've truly found someone to laugh with for the rest of my life. Well, laugh with and drive crazy.

We were blessed in November by the arrival of my dad and step-mom. They came to meet Craig (for the first time!) and decided they liked him so much that they'd keep him. My dad has not visited since 1970 so A LOT of my family was happy to see him. That marked the first trip for my stepmom and she got to meet and see a lot of her own family.

Work has always been a crazy ride. Selling eyeglasses on the net is actually a rewarding job. I provide people with eyewear at a fraction of what it costs them in retail stores.

School is school. My specializations for this year are Iran and something having to do with nuclear proliferation...or military intervention. I don't really remember. Hopefully, in 2010, I will start learning Korean so that I can, one day, become an expert in Korean affairs. My favorite classes this year are Women in the Middle East and Culture and Foreign Policy. They are the two classes from this semester that really opened my eyes to new things.

So, what's in store for 2010? Craig and I seal the deal and get hitched. We've started our own blog called "Craig and Hillary... sittin' in a tree" which will be dedicated to our wedding and reviews of cool stuff that may end up on our wedding registry. Take a peek, give suggestions for stuff you want us to review and have a good time!

Enjoy the rest of 2009 because 2010 is just around the corner. See you on the flip side!

Happy 2010 from the Crazies... I mean the (almost) Glasers!

Dear MTV...

2009-12-30T09:47:00.003+02:00

Dear MTV,
After watching your show Jersey Shore - I decided you should come up with a tv show about Jews. While we may not be as entertaining to watch as Guidos and Guidettes, you will still find a fair amount of fancy cars, over usage of hair product, and tanorexic people within the American Jewish community. "OMG, Jenn, you look so tan! Did you go to Aruba?" "No, I had a visit at Tanfaster." The men will kibbutz about money, baseball, basketball, and losing their hair while still being classified as hot while the women talk about shopping, how work is hard, and the latest lip gloss they bought from MAC.

You won't find much talk about Torah/Tanach...etc.

You will see drinking. Every Friday night will be a booze fest.

If you bring the show to Israel, you might want to focus on the IDC-Herzliya. Why? The creme de la creme go to school there and they party pretty hard. Especially when the school has a school sponsored party nearly every week.

What do you say? I say do it!

L'Chaim,
Hillary

Been a while...

2009-12-29T15:43:00.002+02:00

It's been a while since my last update. Let's assume all is going well. Craig is starting the visa process again this week so cross your fingers that my man will be able to visit the good ol' U S of A with me come passover. We take a lot of things for granted as Americans. Like what - you may ask... well, we're American. We can basically go where ever we want, when ever we want, and how ever we want. Craig is not American (yet). He's South African and Israeli. It doesn't get much worse than that folks. All kidding aside, South Africans are trying to get out of SA just as much as Israelis are trying to work illegally in the US.

When you think of an illegal immigrant, you probably think of your gardener who is more than likely Mexican. Have you been to a mall lately? If you live in an area with a decent Jewish population, chances are the people trying to sell you dead sea products/hair straighteners/their soul are Israeli. They are generally in the US illegally but they are the pretty side of illegal aliens - not like the Mexicans who make it ugly (just kidding?). People like them are why Craig can't get a visa.

Cross your fingers that he gets one.

So, what else do we take for granted? The postal service. I told my mom a few years ago that she should consider herself lucky that she can do nearly everything online from USPS.com. We can't. Israel post is open from 8am to 1pm. Sometimes they reopen at 4pm until 6:30pm. No one really knows when those days are because they are always changing. Go figure. While I love the Jewish State, nothing is convenient like it is in America.

My friends and I went to see Avatar in Kiryat Bialik last week (near Haifa). We came across the ONLY Burger King drive through in the entire country. One again. Go figure. In the US, you have faster service IN Burger King than you do driving through the drive through.

Also, think about getting married. In the US, your religious ceremony can be legal as long as you get a marriage license from your state. In Israel, your religious ceremony is only legal if the Rabbinate says so. There's a whole process involved in getting your wedding to be Kosher. Anyone want to head to Cyprus?

So, that is the news. Consider yourself if you're American living in America. However, Israel has one thing you don't... better food. Who needs a drive through when every place delivers and the food is better?

Stay tuned... more to come!

A favorite... CO Bigelow

2009-10-07T15:26:00.002+02:00

If you worked with me at Bath and Body works, you know that CO Bigelow is one of my FAVORITE stores ON EARTH! They have the best personal care products. I still use their facial soaps AND their lip balms.

So, why do I love them so much? It's simple. Their products are not full of chemicals per-se but they have a great combination of natural extracts and what not that add a great feel to their products. There is something about their stuff that makes me feel like my Aunt Julia would have used their products as well.

Bigelow Chemists know their... eh... stuff. They've been working on making great personal-care products since 1838. Their New York location has been a hotspot for New Yorkers since g-d knows when.

My two favorite products? Mentha Lip Shine and their Micro Dermabrasion made from rice and bamboo. It's AMAZING!

Anyway, I thought I'd give you a head's up on a great deal so YOU can see why I love them so much. Take $15.00 off any purchase over $100! Use coupon code: fifteen and enjoy what they have to offer.

Stay tuned... my next post will be dedicated to CHOCOLATE!

Forgetfulness

2009-09-15T12:04:00.002+03:00

Hello all. It seems in my crazy busy life, I forgot to inform you all of one small, but important, detail in my life. I am CANCER FREE. No cancer in me. Still have my headaches but I have no cancer.

In other news, I've been REALLY forgetful lately. This may not seem like news but just a few minutes ago I walked across my office with one shoe on because I forgot to put the other one on. Welcome to my life.

Tonight, I am going to make Craig a wonderful dish called "Baked Salami" and I'm going to share the recipe with you. If you're on a diet... you probably don't want to eat this.

There is a funny story about this recipe. Before my friend, Kim, got married she called me and said "can I have your recipe for baked salami? We want to serve it at our wedding during the appetizer hour." I was not only flattered but I was floored because I never wrote out the recipe. It's always been done by memory.

Ingredients
2lbs Salami
1cup Brown Sugar
1/4cup apricot preserves (jelly, jam... whatever you want to call it)
1 bottle of ginger ale or soda water (not a 2 liter, just a small bottle will do)
1/2cup dijon mustard or honey mustard

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Begin with an unwrapped salami and make a large cut in the salami from top to bottom. DO NOT cut all the way through the salami.

In a bowl, mix together the brown sugar, apricot preserves, and mustard. You should get some kind of grainy mixture.

Slowly pour the ginger ale or soda water in ONE CUP at a time. Slowly stir in the liquid until the sugar is mostly melted. Make sure that the mixture isn't soupy or two liquidy. If it is, add more jam.

Place the salami in an aluminum pan with the cut facing upward. Slowly pour the mixture over the salami making sure to fill the area that was cut.

Place in the oven for one and a half hours. After the time is up, flip it over and rejuice (just pour the mixture over the other side) and stick back in the oven for another one and a half hours.

It's really easy to make and goes VERY well with mustard dip.

Enjoy!

New Year, New...?

2009-09-14T15:28:00.002+03:00

Last summer, as I sat on the beach in South Haven, Michigan, praying and reflecting along side T, I thought to myself "this is going to be the year I change things. I am going to have a new, positive outlook on everything!" I'm an idiot.

Returning home was a great decision, I met my fiance, I have a great job, a great life, and an amazing dog. What has a year taught me? Almost nothing except I will always be cranky and stressed, school will always suck, no matter how hard I try - I am not always going to be nice to people, and I have an extremely short fuse.

Where did my positivity go? Out the window. Where did my love for humanity go? It died when I last visited the Misrad HaPnim.

In truth, life is pretty awesome and it's also pretty short. Sometimes we take calculated risks. Sometimes we take a leap of faith and hope something works out. I am a believer in taking leaps of faith. Faith in what? I have no idea.

The new Jewish year is upon us. I hope it's a good one.

Newest Obsession: Peas

2009-09-13T14:24:00.003+03:00

Since I was a little kid, I watched my sister carefully move food she didn't like from the dish to the other side of the plate- often times onto a napkin. One such item is the pea. I've never met anyone who disliked peas more than my oldest sister. Being weird about food tends to run in my family.

My dad and two of my sisters are neurotic about not letting different types of food touch each other on the plate. I prefer mushing the food together.
When my younger cousin was a kid, she would NEVER put cream cheese on a bagel - only ketchup.
Two of my other cousins preferred their bagels to have both cream cheese and ketchup. Ketchup went on their eggs too.
My dad used to love shrimp. I remember coming to his house one day and asking him what it is about shrimp that he loved so much. His answer "I actually don't really like shrimp but I eat 'em anyway." Needless to say, this concept made NO sense to me. I don't eat foods I don't like... unless it is made by someone I love- then I will eat it anyway. My dad would eat shrimp as a snack.
My uncle won't eat chicken unless it is disguised.
My uncle and his kids won't touch fish. This is why my grandmother makes gefilte fish with chicken. Even then, only one of my cousins will eat it.

I inherited my love for food (and lack of weirdness in it) from my mom's side of the family. I also inherited my grandfather's love for anything fried. I really mean anything. Case in point: my newest obsession.

I came into work one day and one of my co-workers was eating these little green balls that smelled REALLY REALLY good. I asked him what it was and he said "fried peas- want one?" I said no. I wound up eating them anyway and now I can't stop. It's somewhat of a delicacy here although its origins are unknown to me.

I do have to say that if you eat a lot of them, your stomach will hurt and you will toot for the rest of the day. They are incredibly filling and very delicious.

I highly recommend them. I eat them once a day and I'm pretty sure they aren't good for my diet. No worries though, I'm about to move into an apartment situated on the fourth floor with no elevator. If anything, my butt will look fantastic by the wedding!

2009-09-12T09:54:00.003+03:00

My adventures in cooking led me to make focaccia last night. Did it turn out the way I wanted to? No. Was it tasty? A bit. Dinner consisted of pasta with a cream sauce baked with cheese on top. It's kind of my usual "we're students and I'm too tired to cook" recipe.

Needless to say, this doesn't fit my diet so well.

Still, I'm hoping that when we move into our new apartment I will have the energy and excitement to cook again. We're moving soon... October 1st!! Both of us are very excited.

Next stop... Ikea.

Losing Weight - Kosher-style?

2009-09-05T10:35:00.003+03:00

In my quest to be healthier (stop laughing), I decided to do some research (while at work) on the internet to see what I could do to help myself lose weight and be more fit. I don't have a lot of spare money laying around so the gym and personal trainers are out of the question - but I do live near a park and I do have a dog (albeit an asthmatic one) - so that's a step in the right direction but what about food?

I love food.

I'll write it again.

I. LOVE. FOOD.

I've never really been criticized for being heavy because, well, I'm not heavy. My weight fluctuates between a size 4 and a size 8 (which seems pretty normal to me since the average size for US women is 14) but my downfall is the potato. I love potatoes. While I know french fries are bad for you - they are really super yummy.

Since returning to Israel, I am subject to eating foods that are in season. Otherwise they are insanely expensive to buy. I eat plenty of greens and a lot of good carbs but. nothing. It doesn't budge.

While doing my research, I came across numerous sites that promise to help you plan out your meals. I have several problems with this. First and foremost, when I get home from work- I have NO idea what I want to eat for dinner. Breakfast and lunch are usually pretty easy for me although I need to let go of the popcorn snacks I've grown used to eating.

Another problem is the whole kosher thing. I keep kosher. It's harder NOT to keep kosher in Israel than it is TO keep kosher. Most of the meals mix milk and meat - which any Jew will no is BAD. So, what does a kosher food loving girl do? Research for healthy kosher recipes.

Where do these recipes exist? They kinda don't. Aside from salads, most Jewish food is laden with fat and calories. Nechama Cohen does a great job of pointing you in the right direction if you're a Jewish diabetic. Alas, I am not. Truthfully, I don't eat a lot of sugar (unless it came from last night's pie... which was really yummy and not high in fat). While there are healthy kosher cookbooks out there - most of the foods don't sound that appealing. Also, most of them appeal to the low-sugar crowd and involve splenda... which I don't exactly care for since the Israeli version SUCKS.

Deborah Bernstein's Secrets to Fat Free Kosher Cooking seems to be more of a lecture book than a cook book. So far, very few books seem appetizing and relavent. What ever happened to every-day kosher cooking? Why does everything have to revolve around holidays??

My quest continues. Perhaps I'll pick up an Israeli cookbook and see how that goes...

The Dreaded "C" Word

2009-09-01T11:49:00.003+03:00

Tomorrow I am having a CT scan. Yay. I am having this scan because it's clearly not normal to have headaches every day for two weeks straight. After much prodding, my doctor suggested a CT scan. Our conversation today went something like this:

Hillary: Are they doing a scan of my sinuses as well as my brain or just my brain?
Doctor: Just your brain. A CT scan of your sinuses wouldn't show much.
H: Why are you scanning my brain? What do you think they might find?
D: Well, we are essentially looking for a brain tumor...
H: (interrupting) Um, WHAT?
D: I'm not going to lie to you and tell you we're not looking for a tumor - I hope we don't find one but two weeks worth of headaches isn't normal. It could be a migraine but since your migraine medication doesn't work on your headaches - it likely isn't a migraine.
H: So what happens after the CT scan?
D: I want you to see a neurologist.
H: Does he treat cancer?
D: No but he can go over the results with you. One step at a time.

So, what's running through my head right now? CANCERCANCERCANCERCANCERCANCERCANCERCANCERCANCERCANCER.

Yeah, cancer.

Am I scared? Yes.

Am I on the brink of tears? Yes.

Do I hope to g-d it isn't cancer? HELL YES.

Do I hope they find out what's causing my headaches? Yes. I am so sick of being tested for this, that, and the other thing. I just want to know the cause so it can be treated.

For now, I will sit at work and try not to burst into tears when someone talks to me.

I'm praying. Along with praying to win the lotto - I am praying that I will be OK. At 28, the last thing I ever thought about was a brain tumor.

On the upside, the guilt trips I could give people are endless. :-)

M&M's... my first review

2009-07-01T16:10:00.005+03:00

Wow, my first review. Here goes nothing... expect a lot of chocolatey reviews. I love chocolate!

By now, everyone knows Craig and I are getting married. (YAY!) Kashrut is a big thing in our household but I might make an exception for this:

OMG, how awesome would it be to receive little packets of (almost melted) M&Ms as a wedding favor? Granted, I'm not too pleased with the idea of someone eating my head- I like this idea for weddings! Not getting married? Don't worry, you can put a logo on there for your business or sports team! What a great idea!!

Super Sweet ONLINE Promotions - Personalized MY M&M'S® Candies so amazing that they really are great for any occasion!

I love M&Ms... I blame my grandparents for it... so I highly recommend visiting their site and buying some personalized candies today!

Help a sista out!

2009-07-01T15:46:00.003+03:00

Today I decided to start something new! That's right! While I love working, I'm turning my blog into somewhat of a "things that I love" sorta blog. The best part is that if you click on what ever it is that I love and buy it- I get paid money! I will be writing reviews on things I love and things I think you should check out!

This is an experiment.

I see people doing this every day at work- so I'm getting in on the action!

Why am I doing this? Between paying for school and an upcoming wedding- this chica needs some help! Help a sista out. Let's make this super successful!!!!!!

I'm Engaged!

2009-06-30T13:39:00.002+03:00

Ok, I know it's a bit late but it's the truth. I'm engaged! The love of my life asked me to spend the rest of my life with him about a month ago and I said YES (obviously!) while shaking my head up and down to confirm that I was saying yes. You can read the story here. Craig is amazing - and he's generally better about blogging than I am. I think he dedicated a blog post to our dog, Sparky.

In other news, I am dreading this heat wave we're having. Oh wait, that's what it's like in the Middle East.

I am also really sad that Michael Jackson died. I wish the media would leave him alone. He's dead. Stop digging.

I'm also sad that the OxyClean guy died. How tragic!

In other- other news, life is pretty good.

I wish you guys well! Go buy some eyeglasses or something. It'll help me keep my job.

Bad Prescriptions... My Story

2009-06-14T13:59:00.000+03:00

Every once in a while, we like to give personal accounts of our staff and their eyeglasses. This time, it is my turn. What happens when you turn to an older pair of glasses or a newer pair of eyeglasses that may or may not contain the correct prescription? I'm about to tell you! Recently, for some unknown reason, I decided to wear one of my "reserves" - that is a pair of glasses that I don't always wear but tends to go well with some outfits. I found my silver metal, full framed eyeglasses that I bought at an upscale optical boutique not too long ago. They cost me a pretty penny but I liked the fact that they did not stand out like most of my other frames. They were just plain silver and were not so noticeable.

I turned to these eyeglasses in hopes that they would coordinate with my outfit. Then it started. My eyes felt a little wobbly. I did not think much of it until a few hours later when I was walking the dog and I felt like I was about to fall over. A huge headache developed behind my eyes. I started feeling nauseous. At first I thought I was coming down with a cold or the flu. When the dog and I returned home, I laid down for a bit without my eyeglasses on. Slowly the symptoms went away. After a good nap, I woke up to make dinner and put the glasses back on. The symptoms returned.

It took me about a day or so to realize that my prescription eyeglasses were the cause of my illness. I brought them into our lab to check the prescription. One of our lab technicians told me the prescription was off. I could not believe it! I thought to myself "I knew there was a reason I don't wear these frames that often!" Even though the prescription used to make my faulty frames was the same one used to make all of my eyeglasses from GlassesUSA - I still thought about going to get my eyes re-examined. Instead, I decided to donate my faulty frames to the local Lions Club and wear my GlassesUSA "Hilarie" frames instead.

Mistakes happen in manufacturing - no company is immune to it. However, you can definitely save yourself the hassle I went through - even when buying eyeglasses online. If you are in a store, wear the eyeglasses around for a bit. While there is a good 24 hour grace period for adjustment, after that your eyes should adjust to the lenses. If they haven't - take them back and demand a new pair. The same can be said for eyeglasses bought online. If within 24 hours your eyes still feel wobbly, call their customer service line and ask that a new pair of eyeglasses be sent to you. In some cases, it may be customer error by inputting the prescription improperly - however, calling customer service might save you a lot of time and anguish in the long run.

My lesson learned: if a pair of eyeglasses seems fishy when you first put them on, don't wait five months to return them!

Memorial/Independence Day 2009

2009-04-28T17:04:00.003+03:00

Last night, as the siren blew, Israelis across the land were stopped dead in their tracks to be reminded of the thousands that died to save, preserve, and protect the State of Israel. I stood with two of my roommates at attention, heads hung low, remembering those we knew who lost their lives to protect immigrants like me who wanted to live as a Jew in a Jewish homeland. This morning, at 11am, as I sat at my desk doing busy-work, the siren rang again. This time it was not to mark the start of Yom HaZikaron (Memorial Day), it was to remind us of those who sacrificed so much so we can live freely. As day turns to dusk, Israel will do a 180 - going from sorrow to joy as we mark the 61st anniversary of the State of Israel's independence. The streets will be packed in every city as the entire country celebrates its' survival!

As an American, it's hard for me to fathom a solemn Memorial Day. In the States we have a day off and bbq for Memorial Day. It's a three day weekend for Americans. To go from that kind of holiday to a holiday where people take to heart those they've lost in every war. Although, it seems appropriate to actually remember those we've lost during the wars and terror attacks. Each city holds a ceremony to remember the fallen of that city. Less than 24 hours later, the city will rejoice in surviving and living in freedom. It's a strange concept to grasp as an American but as an Israeli I fully comprehend it.

To all of my Israeli readers, חג שמח (Happy Holiday) but never forget those who lost their lives to ensure us of our safety and freedom.

Where ever I stand, I stand with Israel ... as an Israeli!

Holocaust Memorial Day

2009-04-21T18:34:00.002+03:00

Today is Yom HaShoah- Holocaust Memorial Day in Israel. Last year, around this time, I gave a lecture at Wayne State University about the Holocaust. What gives me the right to speak about the Holocaust? All four of my grandparents were survivors.

All four have different stories.

All four remind me to be proud to be a Jew.

My first Yom HaShoah in Israel was when I was 24 - I was a tourist.

My second Yom HaShoah in Israel was when I was 26 - I was Israeli.

I stand tall at the sound of horns blazing and sirens ringing as the entire State of Israel stops moving for two minutes. Buses stop. People stand at attention. No work is done for two minutes ... in order to remember the six million who died for nothing.

Today, as the Durban Conference spews more hatred, I beg each person to stand up against conferences like this. I beg you to stand for peace, stand for tolerance, stand for the sanctity of human life. Stand against Iran, Saudi Arabia, and other Islamic countries who do not allow their citizens to live free lives. Stand against deniers of the Holocaust who have never seen a survivor's face shattered again when they retell their stories. Stand up against adversity and stand up for justice.

Stand up against the hatred. Zionism is not racist or a form of bigotry. Thanks to Zionism, millions of Jews do not have to live in fear of persecution. Millions of Jews have a home to go to. In 2009, Jews are still being attacked for being Jewish... just as they were in 1939.

On this Yom HaShoah I am 28. I am Israeli. I am American. I am a Jew.

I remember the six million ... do you?

Raining rockets...

2008-12-27T16:10:00.002+02:00

If you're just waking up in the US, let me give you a brief update on what's happening in Israel. Gaza is burning. We retaliated. The Jews have had enough rockets into their country and we waged battle against the Palestinians. For those of you who are right-winged, go ahead and say "it's about time." For those left-wingers go ahead and shout "this is not the way to peace." For those of you in the middle, it's ok to sigh and ask "how did it get like this?"

For the rest of the world, understand this. We are not celebrating. The cost of war is not always measured in money but in casualties experienced on both sides.

Side one: those being bombed in Israel- no one likes to live life in a shelter and a constant state of fear. We, the Israeli population, are scared for them. Life cannot go on this way.

Side two: those living in Gaza- if you want to blame the Israelis for your way of life and the conditions you live under, go ahead but it's NOT our fault. You rely on the Muslim Brotherhood of Hamas to help you. What are they doing for you?? WE take you in to OUR hospitals, payed for by OUR taxes because your health care system is inadequate. We take care of you after you try to bomb us. Yet, we feel sorry for you. No one should have to live like an animal.

Side three: the Israeli soldier- scared sh*tless and afraid to die at the hands of terrorists. You're too young to see and experience what you already know to be PURE HELL. While the world watches you do your job, your friends and family wait for you to return home safely.

Side four: the family/friends/girlfriend/boyfriend of the soldier- they pray for your safety and are glued to the tv/radio/internet for positive words. They would do anything for peace if it meant you never having to go to war again. They are scared... downright terrified for you. They miss you more than words can express and just want you home, with them, in one piece. Alive.

Side five: the Israelis- we are of mixed feelings. We are torn between what's actually right and what's actually wrong. Which way is up? Do the Palestinians truly deserve this? On Shabbat? This is supposed to be the day of rest - not the day when Gaza goes up in flames. Hell is on fire but at what cost to us? Will it stop the katyusha rockets? Probably not. Will it intimidate the Palestinians? No. Will they stop trying to kill us? NO! We demand answers from our corrupt government officials who ALLOWED this situation to happen. Will we get them? No.

Today I am of mixed feelings. While I'm happy to see Gaza burn, I am saddened that people will lose their lives. I am frustrated. I hate knowing that NOTHING good will come of this. Only the promise of more rockets into Netivot, Sderot, Ashkelon, and other places.

May g-d help us.

Workin' for the weekend

2008-12-11T11:40:00.004+02:00

Today is going to be a long one at GlassesUSA! I opted out of showering this morning for a few extra minutes of sleep but as I read my book on the bus, I started to drift off anyway. I should really opt for an earlier bedtime and less chatting on MSN. I feel badly for the roommies because I'm ALWAYS WORKING but I love what I do. I just hate talking to customers. Ya dig?

Anyway, lately I've been writing some new blogs for GlassesUSA and I'm learning more and more about eyes. It's kinda cool actually! It's really interesting how the eye works! One day I will write about the history of glasses and eye wear but for now I am really enjoying just looking at pretty frames. I am now the proud owner of the "Revere" frame! I get a lot of compliments on them too!

Last night was entertaining- I'm pretty sure my roommates were laugh at one conversation I had with a young chap who basically invited me to Miami to hang out with him. He also asked to see my facebook profile... a little creepy. Not gonna lie on that one. It's not the first time someone has picked me up over the phone but I was trying REALLY hard not to laugh. A similar thing happened today on the bus. A guy told me to skip work and come hang out with him. I attribute this to my new glasses. Who knew I'd have such adventures with this job?? If only life were so much fun...

Glasses

2008-11-23T12:34:00.004+02:00

If you know me at all, you know I have a love for glasses! I've been wearing them since I was a kid. I BEGGED my parents to take me to the eye doctor so I could get glasses that looked EXACTLY like my sister Kim's eye glasses. It should be no surprise to ANYONE that I took a job with an optical firm with an office in Israel. I love my job. I'd like to keep my job so I hope the re-launch of the site takes off.

What is this site you ask? http://www.glassesusa.com/ the smartest way to buy eyeglasses!

I've done a lot of work for the site- I've even named glasses after my friends and family!

Our site is also a comprehensive guide to buying frames. We tell you exactly what you need to know in order to purchase the frames that will fit you and flatter you best. We have great advice on which frames will flatter your style too!

Seeing as I LOVE glasses, I thought I'd share a few of my favorites with you: the Hilarie, Reagan, Stripes, and Lilly.

Ok, I have an obsession with red.

One of the other things I created was a facebook "fan" page! Join our fan page and get a 20% off coupon on your pair of frames! If you want to show off your sexy specs, send a picture to Hillary@glassesusa.com with the title of "pic" and we'll show you off on our page!

This is what I've been up to- take a look at our site and don't forget to join our facebook page!!

two weeks...

2008-11-12T10:57:00.002+02:00

My first two weeks of school are near a close. I was terrified to re-start my studies at the IDC but mostly because of old demons and old faces that I would have to face again. I was prepared to answer their standard questions of "Where did you go?" "Are you back for good?" "What happened?" My standard answer is and will always be "I went back to Detroit, my family needed me, I'm a second year student." Sometimes I tell people the entire truth: my mom had cancer and I couldn't face being in Israel and not knowing if she would ever be OK. In reality, it was harder to make the decision to stay in Detroit than it was to move to Israel... twice.

While I was prepared to face their questions, I was not prepared to face their coldness. A lot of people were warm and welcoming but some that I called "friend" turned their back and forgot I existed. On top of having the hardest year of my 27 years on this planet, I came back to find that my glorious circle of friends had dwindled down and I was subsequently forgotten. Shitty feeling. Worse than hearing all the rumors of why I left. No, I did not get pregnant. No, I did not get married. No, I was not escaping the sight of an ex-boyfriend. My mom had cancer. I wanted and needed to be home.

However, when one door closes, another opens. I have an opportunity to make new friends - friends that will hopefully see me for me and not walk all over me when they need an ear to listen to just to disappear when I need help. I don't appreciate having people turn their backs on me but I'm grateful for the second chance I am getting right now. I've made some friends - I adore them! I'm making new connections and trying to use my powers for good. I'm not shooting for the stars in school, I'm just hoping to do my best and say my peace. I want to experience life but I'm ready for the hard times to be over.

This year WILL be a great one... because I said so. What I say goes. End of story.

3 minutes

2008-09-24T21:48:00.003+03:00

So, tonight I went on my first date upon returning to Israel. Well, can you call it a date if it lasts 3 minutes? The jury is still out on that one. Upon returning to this glorious country, I got bored very quickly. After my experimentations with jdate in the U.S. I decided to try jdate in Israel for sh*ts and giggles. Tonight was my first Israeli jdate.

After spending about 10 minutes cleaning part of the apartment, this guy came to pick me up. I got in his car and he asked "so, do I look the same?" I was honest and said "no." He asked if he looked worse and I said no but it was hard to tell because he had one picture that was kind of blurry. We decided on coffee and as he turned his car around he asked if I really wanted coffee. I said "I love coffee" and he replied "I'm really tired. It hit me as I came over." He then asked if we could do this another time because he really just wanted to see me.

No. No, we cannot do this another time. This was your shot and you blew it. If you don't like me enough to hang out with me for an hour NOW- you won't like me when I feel like chopped liver a few days later. I kept telling him I was busy - which is the truth. I'm not a bad looking girl. I don't look like a whale. I rock what I wear and I have a great attitude. This is who I am - who I be- how I roll. Ya don't like it? There's the door. Yet, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little hurt. On the upside, I've had great people telling me he's an idiot.

So, to this unnamed man- thank you for our 3 minute date. You saved me from 57 minutes more of uncomfortable conversation.

the look of ... hatred.

2008-09-18T13:04:00.002+03:00

"It's a swing and a miss..." is something often heard at Detroit Tigers games as of late - but this phrase keeps running through my head. I returned to the Holy Land feeling broken and torn, shattered and a fraction of myself. Yet it feels like I swung aiming for the home run but struck out instead. Things are the same but they are different. I'm in a new city - although not far from my old apartment. My friends are on vacation or further away from me in proximity. Life feels different. Separation anxiety set in fairly quickly. Does it feel good to be back? Absolutely.

Yesterday marked my Papa's birthday - except he's no longer with us. It also marked my sister's birthday. Her first birthday without our Papa. Yesterday was hard for all of us - the charmed ones. Papa came to me in a dream just the other night. We had a good conversation. I told him to stop haunting me and as he turned to walk away from me - I told him to stop, that I wasn't done talking to him. It felt like he was sitting right next to me, explaining to me that this is how things have to be. He tried to explain that I need to take care of me and no one else right now. I asked him how does one fix a broken spirit - he said it'll come in time. He was gone fairly quickly and I woke up crying. This set the tone for my day.

As I walked through Ra'anana, I came across many different types of people - religious, secular, Israeli, British, American, Scottish ... etc. As I turned the corner for my street, I saw two Muslim women walking toward me - one ignored me altogether, the other looked at me as if I was the devil - even though I was smiling at her. I threw her off with the smile but also with the direct eye contact. However, the look on her face and the hatred in her eyes made me sulk. This isn't Detroit - this is Ra'anana. I'm not in the US, I'm in Israel.

Holy sh*t, I'm in Israel.

love and hate

2008-07-17T16:59:00.003+03:00

I have so much anger built inside of me that it's hard for me to know where to begin. This post will blur the lines of political and personal. Yesterday marked the release of terrorists like Samir Kuntar. They were released into the wild (also known as Lebanon and Syria) while we received corpses of fallen soldiers Eldad Regev and Ehud Goldwasser. We mourn, they dance. How is that fair? Why is that right? When did we become so lenient as a government (and a people) to let such atrocities happen?????

My feelings are mixed. I am proud to come from a humane state but angered that my government would release someone like Kuntar - who killed a four-year-old girl (while she plead for mercy) - while he pledges to continue killing Israelis. And for what?? For hate. Can the world subside on love? Should we have leveled Lebanon while we had the chance? Furthermore- should we have leveled Gaza when we left? How is a peace agreement to stand when rockets are flying into Sderot, murderers are released onto the streets, and a government lacks a backbone? HOW??

I am a disgruntled Israeli who watches from the sidelines and is waiting for her chance to make things better. Little by little I do my part in America but Olmert has set the stage for his own hanging ... who will be the one to make things right?

Future what???

2008-06-24T14:51:00.003+03:00

I started a new job yesterday... well, it's a second job and so far, so good. It's not a career but it seems like it could be fun. I get to talk on the phone all day. I'm a talker. Perfect fit. So, enough about that and on to the real stuff...

Last night, T and I ventured to Ann Arbor for a concert. Who played- you ask?? Ari Hest. I've known Ari for about four years (almost). We initially met when I randomly wandered into the Borders Books & Music in Novi, Michigan. I went to buy some books and was actually looking at them when I heard a commotion and saw there was going to be an in-store concert. I looked to my right and in walked this really tall, really good looking Jewish guy. Immediately I thought "I'm going to marry that guy" although I had no idea he was the guy performing. We met a little while later and it was magical. Well, to me it was magical. He pestered me that afternoon to bring my cousin to his next show (which was in two hours) and I told him that she was too young. He told me to bring her anyway but we saw a movie instead. A few weeks later, he played Michigan again and I brought Michele. I was so nervous to talk to him that Michele threatened to push me all the way to go talk to him. I felt like I was in eighth grade again at the end of the school year dance when I had a big crush on Erik Silver and Jamie threatened to push me all the way in his direction to go talk to him. On both occasions I felt it would be less embarrassing to just go talk to the guy instead. Again, magic (for me).

Over the past few years, I've been to nearly every concert he's played in Michigan. The only exception being when he played at a festival in Ann Arbor last year. I had been home from Israel for less than a week and my grandmother threatened to kill me if I didn't show up to Shabbos dinner (because she hadn't seen me in a year). I weighed my options but in the end my family won and I went to Shabbos dinner. I e-mailed Ari to tell him of the threat on my life if I didn't eat dinner with my family and he suggested I obey my grandmother's wishes. Little did I know it would be almost a year before he would play Michigan again.

Last night was an amazing show- as always. On numerous occasions I received text messages (SMS for my Israeli friends) from my friends saying "say hello to your future husband for me" which made me giggle - mostly because my friends still call him that. I'm sure nearly every Jewish girl that has seen Ari play has also called him her future husband. Yet, last night, there was a certain familiarity when I saw him. For some reason, no matter what hair color I have, he always recognizes me and I always get a big hug. It's always magical (for me). I always leave feeling giddy. I explained to T yesterday that there is a certain ex I always run into - and it always seems to be that I run into him when I feel fat and disgusting. Yet, whenever I see Ari, no matter how bad I feel - I always feel better in his presence... like I'm special or something.

Upon returning home, giddy as ever (and knowing I was not going to fall asleep early), I saw an instant message on my laptop from another friend of mine (who has seen Ari play with me - and has also told me that he treats me differently than other people). His IM said "Did you see the article in the Jewish News about your future husband? I presume you did." and I had. Maybe one day he'll come visit me in Israel... maybe one day I'll work for the Israelis in New York... maybe both will happen. Maybe.

celebration?

2008-06-06T16:11:00.003+03:00

Two years ago today I moved to Israel and became an Israeli citizen. That's right 6-6-06. While I initially believed this date to be cursed, someone pointed out to me that it also adds up to 18 - a lucky number in Judaism. So, how does one celebrate a day that brought immense happiness to said individual? How does one celebrate when they are not currently in the country of their choice? These are questions I am pondering today.

As many people know I am not in Israel right now. :-(

I came home to Detroit less than a year ago on vacation and my entire world fell apart. My mom fell ill and then it got worse. She had cancer (b"h she is fine now) but this was just one thing in a string of bad-happenings. One by one my grandparents got sick. It seemed to happen all within a span of a few months. The mere thought of this all brings me to tears. In that time span I lost my grandfather. However, I also gained a new appreciation for what I am capable of.

So, what am I capable of? A LOT! I became the schlep for my grandfather when he could no longer drive. Occasionally, it got the best of me but I long for the conversations that he and I had in my car as I drove him to his chemotherapy appointments and blood transfusions. Our driving sessions became a weekly thing. However, it was a lot of pressure to put on a 26 year-old. When my grandmother became ill - my grandfather's world fell apart. On one occasion, I had driven my grandfather from his chemotherapy appointment to the hospital. He had an overnight stay and on a whim I drove to the hospital the next day to check up on him AND my grandmother - they were in the same hospital, but on different floors. Upon seeing my grandfather, we ran into my grandmother's surgeon who mentioned she was gravely ill and needed surgery immediately or she would die. How's that for a Saturday morning? At one point, after yelling at my cousin on the phone, I called my sister Jodi and broke down. The straw that broke the camel's back had come and I needed help. My mother had just been let out of the hospital for her last cancer surgery and she couldn't do much. My uncle was in Arizona. I had my sisters to lean on. For the next month we drove my grandfather to see my grandmother as she recovered from her surgery - that was almost as hard as seeing her in the hospital.

I've learned that no matter how strong I think I am, I am not without fault and I often need help. When I left Israel, I had every intention of returning... I just didn't think it would take me a year to return. Yet, my sister Kim put it best when she told me that had I been in Israel with all these things happening I would have cracked and probably gone nuts. I'm grateful for the time I've had in Detroit but I know it is time to go home and re-start my life.

Next year at this time I will be in Israel celebrating 3 years of being "Israeli" and remembering how my second year went. Despite all the negative things that happened in Detroit, I was able to retain my "Israeli" attitude and drive. I taught new people about the wonders of Israel and of the trials that come with being Jewish in a non-Jewish world. I did my best to be "Israeli" outside of Israel by teaching and advocating on behalf of the State of Israel. These are things I couldn't have done while I was in Israel. I made the most of this year but by the end of August I will be home again. Safe and sound.

Failing

2008-05-01T16:20:00.002+03:00

Never in my life have I felt like a failure. My accomplishments weren't just things to put on a resume or tout off to someone when I felt like boosting my ego. They were things I did with my own blood, sweat, and tears. They were in fact accomplishments - things I did that I was proud of... that I am still proud of. However, I did them when I was younger. Now I'm older ... and I feel like a failure.

I never realized when I started college at 25, that I would feel like a failure by 27. Academically I've done incredibly well. My step-dad kept remarking that he never thought he'd see the day when I spend hours just studying with my headphones on. Yet, that is what I do. I spend hours studying for exams that really make no difference in my life. I spend hours writing papers about things that have no purpose in my major. Yet, I came out with a 3.5GPA... I've never done that. Not even in high school when it was supposedly easy. So, if I'm pulling a great GPA, why do I feel like a failure?

Over the past year I've suffered a few losses. My grandfather died. Some people close to me have passed away. I missed being home in Israel. I've helped out my family here to the best of my ability but apparently it wasn't enough or to some people it wasn't my job. That put a lot of pressure on me. People made me feel badly for not being able to help them out when I needed to put me and my studies first. After a while of dealing with this- I cracked. I fell apart. That's when I started feeling like a failure.

I've always worked well under pressure. Aside from work, I've never dealt well when family and friends pressure me. I hide in my hole until people leave me alone. All the pressure made me want to hide and the action of hiding made me feel like I was not good enough. That is when the failure set in. No matter what I did- I was never going to be good enough for people. This was my fear as I sat in my therapists office in Israel crying that I did not want to come home. I feared that no matter what, everyone was going to be mad at me and I was never going to be good enough.

I cracked in December. I was on the phone with my sister and I started crying. Our grandmother was having surgery and I couldn't handle all of this myself. People were putting pressure on me to do this and do that but I was never able to just live my life - I was always too busy helping other people out. It got worse. It's still that way. Financially I feel inadequate. Academically I feel I can't do enough to get the 4.0 and that a 3.5 isn't good enough ... yet it's the best I've ever done. I can't seem to find a part-time summer job. Things just seem to fall apart - and I feel like a failure.

Passover of all holidays...

2008-04-19T21:12:00.004+03:00

I should be studying. I have final exams this week. Yet, I can't wrap my head around something. There is an issue that has been bothering me since I came back to America. And, yes, it's related to Judaism.

I've noticed that American Jews tend to look down upon others who are either more religious or less religious than they are. Maybe it's always been this way and I haven't noticed it but my eyes are wide open to it now. This hits me especially hard around any Jewish holiday.

Tonight starts Passover- when Jews were taken out of bondage and led out of Egypt by a man most commoners thought was crazy. That man is Moses. He helped deliver an entire people out of slavery. That's quite a task to take on. In honor of our freedom, Jews all around the world celebrate Passover. We sit down to Seder for the festive meal and recount the story of how Moses took us out of Egypt. It's a lot more intricate than Charlton Heston saying "Let my people go!"

It's also around this time that I like to go to synagogue and pray. I'm not overly religious but there are certain holidays that are "non-working" in the Jewish world. It's customary for American Jews to take off from work on Rosh HaShannah and Yom Kippur but they scoff at the idea of taking off the first two and last two days of work for Passover. This astounds me! Passover is not a minor holiday like Hanukkah. It's a relatively big holiday! So, it surprised me when one of my parents called me a fanatic because I refused to take an exam on a holy day. I don't care if I live in America or not- I have religious freedom! You cannot MAKE me take an exam on a day deemed "religious." I was also labeled a fanatic for wanting to go to the synagogue to pray. How is that fanatical???

Further more, WHY are my religious beliefs being questioned BY MY OWN PEOPLE??? I don't get it! When did American Jews become so Christianized? When did it become O.K. to look down upon those that are more religious than you? Or less religious than you? Why is that O.K.??? We are not on this earth to judge- so why judge those in your own faith? I never thought I'd see the day when Jews question the faith of other Jews.

This bothers me and it also makes me glad that I can return to normalcy in Israel where it's perfectly fine to observe how ever you want to- even if that means going to the synagogue to pray and then heading to the beach to relax. I don't like the society I am in right now- August needs to come sooner.

after the rain...

2008-04-12T16:01:00.002+03:00

As usual, my birthday is never without some kind of drama. I found it rather fitting that it started raining (right after I got my car washed) on my birthday. What's important is not what happened on my birthday but rather the day before and the day after.

9 April 2008
I had been nervous all day and rightfully so. I was about to give a lecture in front of a class of people who barely knew me. To make it a little more frightening, I was going to speak in front of my grandparents and my parents as well. The topic: my family's journey through the Holocaust.

In the time I have spent in the U.S., I have tried to remain true to my adoptive Israeli culture. I bring as much Judaism to my studies as I can. I try to make my subjects appear to be as interesting as they were at the I.D.C. Alas, they are not. I jump at chances to write papers on topics I get to pick. I was having a discussion about my research paper for my World Wars class with my professor. He assumed I would be writing my paper on the Holocaust. I explained that I know enough about the Shoah - my grandparents are all survivors.

It was at this point that a light bulb went off in his head and he asked me if I'd like some time in the class to go over the Holocaust stories I know. I jumped at this opportunity. I started putting a book together of family photos. I went on to the Yad VaShem website searching for answers to age-old family questions like "what happened to my family?"

At the start of my presentation, I handed out my pictorial. I stood behind a podium, proudly wearing my magen david necklace and my "Zachor" pin. I started out by asking my class questions of what THEY would do if certain things happened to them. These were all things that happened in my family.

As I told stories of survival - and stories of death, I saw my Bubba Licha (my grandmother) crying. I saw my dad making faces - perhaps because I presented these stories in a new way... or perhaps because I told them wrong. I saw my step-mom beaming because she was proud of me. I looked at my Zeidy to see him half-hearing what I was saying, but proud of me because I am the legacy in my family. At the conclusion I downright begged my fellow students to remember these stories as they have children. For every survivor that dies, another story dies with them.

11 April 2008
The sun was shining, it was warm outside, and I had a paper to research. The topic: Jews who fought in World War II in the Jewish Brigade. I opted out of the Holocaust topic in attempts to provide my professor with some new information on Jews who FOUGHT persecution for other Jews. The Jews of the Jewish Brigade were also responsible for certain Jewish Displaced Persons camps being formed.

As I sat in my chair, in the sunshine, reading about people I deem as heroes - it hit me that I am one of them. I am a Jew who does not sit by idly while my people are persecuted against. I have fought for the people of Sderot. I give lectures on what it's like to voluntarily move to a country that is perceived as being dangerous. I talk about what it means for me to be Israeli. I am the new generation of Zionist.

After the rain
The rain fell on my birthday to cleanse the old me. The new me awoke to a sunny day and a clear vision of where my life needed to go. Along the way I saw two rainbows. One for amusement. The other for good luck.

I am both amused and I feel blessed.

loss

2008-04-07T16:09:00.003+03:00

This post is dedicated to a few of my family members who just lost someone very close to them...

My Papa once told me that you never know when your end will be - so live each day as if it's your last.

I now understand why he told me that. More importantly, you never know when someone you love will pass on.

Some people pass on while still in their youth. Others die at an old age. I admire people like my Bubby who have lived each day like it was their last. I admire people like my Zeidy who can recall information from their past as if it happened yesterday.

I admire people like my Gram, my Papa, and my cousins' Grammie. The three of them used to travel together to far off places and truly enjoyed their adventures. They didn't care about what age they were. My Gram was still traveling to Israel well into her 70's. My grandparents went to Arizona just last year - just because my grandfather was feeling well enough to make the trip. I admire all of them for that.

In today's day and age we rely too much on how much money we have and forget that we have family that cared and nurtured us as children. I would rather not have all the money in the world if it meant that I got to see family a little more often.

We forget about those that helped us through every step of our journey. Our society dictates that we must work, work, work ... but not rest. We work hard and play hard... as if playing were a job. What about our family? What about taking time to care for those who cared for us? For this, I admire my family - who stops at nothing to help those in need. Whether it be my sisters watching each others kids; my cousins teaching my nieces and nephews various life lessons; my grandparents bringing any of us soup when we're sick; my aunts and uncles who just send an email to ask if you're still alive; or my parents who alway ask "what's new?" and don't stop asking until you answer something other than "nothing." My family stops at nothing to take care of each other. For this, I admire them and I am glad to be part of a family like this.

In an age when we so often forget where we come from, I urge people to seek out their past and take care of those who took care of them.

Shalom.

it's written in the stars

2008-03-24T04:15:00.002+02:00

Tonight, as I stood outside attempting to coax the dog inside, I looked up at the stars and thought of an interesting memory. As I stood there, eyes to the sky, I was also dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. Perhaps this is what made me recall this particular memory.

Back in July, when I had *just* returned from Israel, I met a guy. We stood on my driveway as I tried to bid him adieu and he looked at me and said "you must be cold! It's colder here than in Israel, right?" I was chilly but it wasn't that big of a deal. Even at 2 AM in Israel it's at least 85 degrees -- in July. Anyway, he put his arms around me (I think it was a ploy to do so) and it was really sweet.

For some reason, looking up at the stars tonight made me think of him and that memory. It made me smile. I also started to think about how I really need a hug because it's been eight months of "one thing after another, after another." I started to get sad because I realized how much I missed having someone around. I may not miss being in a relationship but I miss the companionship and the ability to curl up next to someone on the couch and just be. No pretense. I miss feeling comfortable with someone.

In a few short months, I will return to Israel. I'm sure, at some point, I will look up at the stars and think of that lovely guy who made it easier for me to return to Michigan. I will probably smile and when someone asks me why I am grinning like an idiot, I will simply tell them that I was thinking fondly of a wonderful memory.

Right now, I'm rambling. I'm processing things that I didn't realize I'd ever have to process. I'm missing people that I never thought I'd truly care about. I'm caring about people that probably didn't deserve the time of day. I'm swallowing feelings as if I were gulping Jack and Coke. I'm contemplating the ripple effect of sharing those feelings. I'm scared. I'm happy. I'm angry. I'm lonely. I miss my Papa because he offered me guidance that none of my other grandparents give me. I'm loving that I get to spend one more summer with my Bubba and Zeidy. I'm hating that I can't take them with me. I need a hug but have no one to lean on. And I'm sitting on the world's most comfortable couch.

I think I'll go back outside and look at the stars again...

My Papa

2008-03-03T16:01:00.002+02:00

March 2nd is a day I will, likely, never forget. My mom woke me up at 5:24 AM to tell me that my grand-father had passed away. I promptly got up, got dressed, and met my mom at the hospital. My sisters soon followed. I sat in my Papa's hospital room with him, his soul, and my sisters by the end. It was just the three of us and him. His three girls. Just us, together. Kind of how it used to be on occasion when we would visit them in Cincinnati. I've learned that through life, the only thing I really ever have is my sisters. In the end, life isn't measured by your monetary successes, it is measured by how you were as a person, as a parent, as a sibling, as a grandparent...etc. Those are the people that surround you as you die.

Saturday night, the family convened at my moms house to talk about what would happen when Papa passed. We had a massive meal and celebrated my moms birthday. We talked and it became clear that there would be no funeral, no shiva, no memorial service. Nothing. There was nothing to be done. My mom left to go back to the hospital and sleep there, my uncle followed.

My mom slept at the hospital all Saturday night. Sunday morning, we got the phone call.

As I sat with my Papa and talking to Jodi we reminisced. We talked about Papa and how gentle he was with us. I told her how when I was younger - being the youngest of 5 grandkids, he had a hard time dealing with me. Eventually, he learned to just sit me on his lap and make me watch "Hardball" on CNN with him. It worked. It calmed me down. It also taught me about politics.

At some point Jodi left for a few minutes and I was alone. Just me and my Papa. Just the two of us as it had been every time I drove him to his appointments. Over the past few months, I drove my Papa to the bulk of his doctors appointments. I drove him to his Chemo appointments, his blood transfusions, his IGAG appointments, and his platelet transfusions. I drove him to Meijers to get his prescriptions.

I made a lot of promises to my Papa yesterday. I thanked him for a lot as well. He taught me to love History and Politics. He once said to me "if you're good at writing, be a writer. If you love Politics, be a politician. If you can combine the two... well, you won't make as much money but if you love it, then do it." He is also the one that pushed me to move back to Israel. Ultimately, it is my decision but I was so happy to have his support. He knew I belonged there.

I promised my Papa that I would plant a tree for him in Israel. I also plan on doing this every year. My Papa began his life as a Yeshiva student who lived on a farm. So, I will tend to the soil and delve into Judaism more. He wasn't religious, or very "Jewish" for that matter, but he respected people's beliefs. As I became more observant, he grew to love me for my conviction. I have a love for Judaism that he never found. As a survivor of the Holocaust, I think he expected his grandchildren to follow suit and not believe. He was not surprised, however, when one grandchild found a home in a place that he found comfort - Israel.

In recent days, people have asked how they can pay their respects to my Papa. My answer: make a donation. Any donation. If your donation is to do community service, then this is a donation he would respect. If your donation is to plant a tree somewhere in his honor - he would like that. Whatever you would do that would make YOU feel better, he would appreciate that as a donation.

I miss my Papa and there is so much more to tell. For now, I will leave people with this: live your life for love. Be driven but don't let your drive get in the way of family. Family is everything. These are lessons I've learned from my Papa.

the end?

2008-02-27T06:04:00.002+02:00

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

These are the words I hear in my mind as I am trying to stop a panic attack.

I am in the middle of midterms and completely unprepared. Some may say "this is so unlike you." This is true. I am usually BEYOND prepared. However, right now my mind is elsewhere. My mind is with family. My grandfather is finally at his end. To watch someone you love die, slowly, has got to be one of the most painful things on earth.

My mind is with my grandmother who would be celebrating 60+ years with my grandfather on March 14. My mind is with my mother who has had to deal with her father dying for quite a few years. My mind is with my sisters' children who never really got to know their Papa - and instead are left with memories of a man that I barely know. My mind is also lost somewhere within myself because I went from enjoying the time I had left with my Papa, to wishing g-d would take him so he's not in any more pain.

For the past few months, my grandfather has taken time to tell me stories. I heard about how my mother reminds him of his mother. I heard stories of how he courted my grandmother in Hungary after World War II. We also figured out that his family is not just Hungarian- but likely Spanish as well. I learned my great-grandmother's last name was Naftoli. I heard his stories of what life was like during World War II - and will have a chance to share his story during my World Wars class.

I came back from Israel thinking I was coming back on vacation. G-d had a different plan for me. I learned how to enjoy life a little bit more thanks to my Papa. I enjoyed the time I had with him. He is the man who used to take me to the Henry Ford Museum just so I could learn American history. He helped me become the young Republican that I am today. He made me proud to be an American.

My Papa told me to find the love of my life in Israel. He told me to find my dreams and grab onto them. He helped me realize I belong in Israel. He wanted the best for me and now I want the best for him. It is heartbreaking to see what he has become. I promised him that I wouldn't remember him this way but rather as the strong Papa who used to pay me to read to him. When I would get sick as a kid, he would make me watch "Crossfire" with him. He taught me how to count to 21 by teaching me to play blackjack. This is the kind of man he was.

He never believed in g-d but encouraged me to find my Judaic soul. He told me to seek out who I am and where I fit into Judaism. He wasn't surprised when I came home from Israel and shoved Judaism into everyone's face. While he wasn't thrilled that I kept a more strict version of Kashrut - he was proud of me for finding my place.

I love my Papa for everything he is and everything he was. Now, I just wait for the other shoe to drop...

take the path

2008-01-20T06:31:00.000+02:00

"In the enchanted forest that is your life, today you will be able to emerge from the frightening woods and find solace in an emotional clearing. There is no danger here, and you will feel comfortable enough to sit down, relax, and figure out where you're going to go next. There are two paths ahead of you, and both look equally promising. Take the one that intimidates you the most -- it will be the one to lead you on the most interesting and fulfilling journey. "

This was my horoscope for today. Yay. Crossroads. I dispise crossroads. No matter which road I take, I find myself having to adjust to the new surroundings. I'm a creature of habit. I like what I'm used to and while I adjust well to new places, there is still always a part of me that misses what I had.

What did I have? Not much. What am I intimidated by? Real love. It scares the shit out of me. Being with that one person for the rest of my life is not just intimidating - it is down right terrifying to me. Hence my crossroads. I know the path in front of me. I know what I will be when I grow up. I know what I can control. Those things out of my control really freak me out. I can't control love. It's just not something someone can control. The idea of falling for someone without having a good grasp at what I have scares the shit out of me. Yet I look for love...

...Until recently. I stopped looking. I took myself off Jdate. I stopped accepting dates. I figured "I'm going to be in school. Who has time for this in school??" Then I thought back to a good friend of mine who got married while she was in law school to a guy she dated through law school. I start to think "I'm only in college... how can it be THAT hard?" I want to get married and have kids. That is the end goal. I'm just afraid of the process to get to the end goal.

So, I stopped looking. What happened? Love bit me on the ass. Only it's not as easy as everyone portrays it to be. It's hard. I'm not techinicaly in a relationship but the process of getting there hasn't been so easy. I also give up easily. Sometimes I give up without a fight. Something inside told me not to go down without fighting. I stated my case. Prepared a pretty good arguement. In the end, maybe all I should have said was how I truely felt (which I did say). I'm not a person who gives up on something out of fear of the unknown. I'm the person who gives up on something because I get bored easily. I'm not bored though. There's a fire in my belly and a glow about me that I don't want to see fade.

I'm sad that it's taken me almost 27 years to realize that the process isn't so scary. I just want to take things one step at a time. It's a lot less scary that way. I took the path that I seldom travel and fought for something I believe in. Do I win in the end? I hope so but only time will tell.

the push... and pull

2008-01-07T04:45:00.000+02:00

My least favorite part of a relationship is the beginning. You have intense feelings for someone and all you want to do is talk to them for hours on end. You want to hang out with them non-stop. OK, well, maybe not non-stop ... but you understand where I'm going with this. I've never been good at taking things slow- which is probably why I burn out of a relationship REALLY quickly. I get bored easily. The reason I detest the beginning is because there are no answers, just games. Everyone plays them. My least favorite game is what I call the push and pull. Some people call it the chase.

Person A (whom we will call Ari) has an interest in Person B (whom we will call Haley). Ari courts Haley but doesn't always call her. She's totally up in the air with how he may feel about her. Haley decides to show Ari that she likes him (it doesn't matter how she does it). She takes one step towards him (and a relationship with him) and Ari takes one step back. Haley freaks a little- calls all her girlfriends asking "what happened? I thought he was into me!" Her friends tell her to back off and let him come to her. Haley backs off and doesn't call for a few days. Ari starts to wonder what happened to Haley and goes running towards her. So to recap, she took a step forward, he took a step back, she took two steps back, and he went running for her. What gives?? This is what I call the push and pull.

I understand that men need their space but this is the most FRUSTRATING time for me (and a lot of women) in the relationship. It's even worse when you were friends first. I've had a lot of conversations lately with my guy friend about the push and pull. The most common question I'm asked is "why do the girls take two steps back?" and my answer is "because you entered your 'MAN CAVE' to think or do whatever you guys do in there and our ego's were bruised. We thought you liked us." It seems like a good answer. When you bruise a woman's ego, you hurt her. It actually hurts inside. So we back off for fear of being hurt again. We're just waiting for you guys to say you like us.

So, what gives? What happened to liking someone and going for it? Apparently, this only exists in high school. Maybe your freshman year of college too. So now we play by games with strange rules. Again, it's even worse when you are friends first. Yet, even during the push and pull, when Ari comes running after Haley and finally calls her, Haley smiles and giggles inside. Why? During the time that Ari backed away and Haley backed away even further- anticipation was created and built up.

Anticipation is a wonderful and very evil thing. You wait to see the object of your affection and when you do everything is blissful and fun. Then you don't hear from said person for a few days. Anticipation builds but so does animosity. The "why hasn't he called?? He should have called by now!" has built up and when he (or she) finally calls that animosity gets thrown by the way side ... until the next time it happens. It's a vicious cycle.

Even with the push and pull, is the end result of the thrill of the chase worth it? If it leads you towards being with someone you can love and let love you- absolutely.

About me

2007-12-06T17:22:00.001+02:00

In light of recent events, I felt the need to write this blog- and try to fill it with powerful energy. It's not so much about sexual relationships as it is about loving relationships. Enjoy.

One upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a young woman who had a lot of crap happen to her. She tried to do her best and play the cards she was dealt but life wasn't so easy. It wasn't that life was very hard either- but everything came as a challenge. While at her breaking point, feeling at her lowest, she looked around her- the sun was shining, there was beautiful snow on the ground, her house was warm and cozy. She realized that while, yes- some things in her life suck, life as a whole was wonderful. She decided from then on that she is magical. She started to believe that everything happens for a reason and while there are dark days- everyday MUST have a silver lining. There has to be ONE good thing, at least, that has happened to her each day. From then on, she went on to fulfill her dreams... the end??

So, here's what is going on. I am not in Israel. I love that country more than I love men but I love my family more. I came back to take care of some things. While I am not the happiest of campers, I am trying to get acclimated without losing the Israeli identity that grew on me and allowed me to be... well, me. I will always have my citizenship there and will look forward to the day when I can be at peace with everything.

Last night, my mom had surgery. She has kidney cancer. Her surgery went well but it will take some time to figure out if the cancer is really gone. I pray that it is. Maybe then my mom can get on with her life.

This morning, my grandmother went into the hospital. (Great timing, I know.) I don't know what's going on but I pray for the best.

My grandfather is still dying. He has leukemia.

I hope that answers some questions...

So, why do I feel magical? Well, two of my closest friends met on my birthday last year. Allow me to re-cap my 26th birthday: my boyfriend broke up with me... or said he would think about us being together. In the end, I found out on facebook that it was really over. Happy Birthday to me. I wasn't near my family... or at least near my sisters. The upside is that I had family in from Michigan that tried to make my first Israeli birthday amazing. I felt very alone on my birthday. While I was wallowing, my friend Dan sat across from my friend Adina at my birthday dinner table. There must have been a spark because they are getting married- and I couldn't be happier for them. One amazing thing grew from my birthday... this makes me happy. That was my silver lining.

I feel magical because I am in Michigan and I have the ability to teach my two year old nephew how to blow fish kisses. I can spend this time with my mom, while she's in recovery. I get to learn how to be "the new me" in the place of my birth. I have a new found love for Detroit- and I try to go on adventures as much as possible. While they are no "Adventures of Hillary and Shira"... it'll do for now.

I try to find the good side of everything and remain positive but I am human. I am not without fault or negativity. I am lucky to have friends who remind me to to kvetch so much and I am lucky to have friends who will let me call them at 11pm and bitch about boys when I don't want to focus on my mom's surgery. Boys are more fun to talk about anyway.

To all my friends (my family)- Americans, Israelis, and all the others in between- thank you. I appreciate you being there and allowing me to be me. I love that you let me bitch and whine when I need to get it out and go crazy when I am feeling silly. In times of crisis, I have you to fall back on. In happy times, I have you to count on. I love you all and I thank g-d you're in my life. Thank you to those who sent their kind wishes during this hell-ish week and to those who have kept my family in their thoughts and prayers. I couldn't have made it through anything without you. Thank you to my sisters for keeping me sane and reminding me that some things never change.

I would not be who I am now if it weren't for those in my past. I would not know where I am supposed to go in life if it weren't for those in my present. I look forward to who I become with the people in my future.

Shalom. Peace. Love to you all.

She don't like you... part 2

2007-10-26T06:47:00.001+02:00

Some men will never learn. Within this generation of the Internet/communication savy, some people just miss the point... quite often. Maybe it's that we want to believe EVERYONE will like us if we put our best foot forward, alas not everyone will and not everyone does. Take me for example. On paper I am AWESOME! I am a woman who knows what she wants, knows where she is going, and knows where she has been. I love kids and animals (except snakes!!), would do anything for my friends, and can kick ass- then take names. I dig sports, speak my mind, and enjoy a good puppet show. What the paper doesn't show is that when I get stressed- I don't want to talk about it. If I want to talk about what's bugging me, I will start talking. If you try to coax it out of me, I will get annoyed. If I get annoyed enough, I will not like you. Case closed. The paper also does not show that I have a proven track record of being hot and heavy for about two months until I lose interest. I am terrified at falling in love. The paper also does not show that I mean what I say and I say what I mean. If I like you, I will tell you. If I don't, to spare your feelings- I will show you with signs. Most women will. And they will look like these:

The walk away: If a woman is not interested in you, her body will not be positioned towards you and she will be making her way towards somewhere (or someone) else. Honestly, don't try to box her in- it makes her feel uncomfortable and it makes her like you less. A lot less. Let her go, she just doesn't like you. Do you enjoy being physically chased after? Neither does she. Unless she has to go to the bathroom, if she likes you- she won't walk away from you.

The watch check: Does the object of your affection constantly look at her watch as if she's praying for it to be later? If she was truly interested, time wouldn't matter. Even if she has to be up at 6 AM. The watch check, or any fidgeting motion, shows she wants time to pass faster because she is either bored or has somewhere else to be. Either way, she's not into you.

The cell phone check: We live in the age of caller ID and voicemail. Thank g-d for those. I've been on many dates where I did not want to answer my phone because I really enjoyed the company. Aunt Sally in Nebraska can wait on dates like those. However, in my early 20's, my best friend used to call me a half hour into my date. If I picked it up on one or two rings, she created a story that got me out of the date... quickly. If it took me a while to answer (say 4 rings), it was her sign to call back in another 30 minutes. If I didn't answer at all, she knew it was ok to leave me alone because nothing was getting in the way of that glorious evening. Make sense? If the cute girl your talking to keeps checking her phone, then she isn't checking you out. Move on.

The no call/e-mail back: Some guys (and girls) don't get it. If the person you seek wants you back, they will return your calls... or answer them at least. Ya dig? This one seems like a no-brainer to me. You meet a girl at a bar, get her phone number, call her in three days... if she doesn't call you back in three days- find a new girl. Same goes for girls. You meet a guy, go on a date, he doesn't call within the first three days, call him ONLY ONCE. No call back? Move on. Someone will like you- just not that person.

In an age where we have an over abundance of communicational aides (yes, I did just create a word), we seem to forget the natural signs in dating. If a person truly wants to talk you- they will. If they don't, they won't... and nothing you say or do will change that. Occasionally, you will meet people who will stop at nothing to keep in touch with you- no matter where in the world you are. More often than not, you won't. Happy dating!

a note to Jewish men

2007-10-12T21:09:00.000+02:00

A note to Jewish men...
Alright guys, lately I've been hearing Jewish men say all Jewish women want a man with money, who drives a nice car, and will provide for them. I am here to introduce you to a *different* kind of Jewish woman who doesn't care how much money you make. Why? Because she will, some day, make more than you do. She doesn't care what kind of car you drive. She also doesn't care where you went to college, how big your house is, or about your 401K. (note to my Jewish guy friends who date non-Jewish girls because they think they aren't Jappy... non-Jewish girls can be just as Jappy as Jewish girls. Honestly.)
Ok, so who are these Jewish women I speak of? These are women who honestly think "Family Guy," "the Simpsons," and "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" are funny. Not only do they know the Lion's fight song- by heart- they also understand the game of football. Probably baseball too. They are willing to watch it with you for the love of the game... not just to be near you. They are women who you might think will blow your ego in a game of pool... and probably will. They will call you on your shit and make you own up to your crap. You're probably thinking "why the hell would I want a woman like that?!" Well, in all honesty, because these are also the women who will support you in every dream you have... even if it's to go to the Tigers Fantasy Camp. They are the women who will stand by you through thick and thin. These Jewish women are relatively practical in monetary things. They probably shop at Target... on sale. And there is nothing wrong with that!
This breed of Jewish woman is just as happy with a date consisting of a six pack and pizza while watching Will Farrell, as they are about going to a fancy restaurant and a night on the town. So, where can you find this woman? Look within your group of friends or think back to those girls you tossed aside. You probably know a few. They are often over looked as "one of the guys." These are the girls who are at ball games with their girlfriends ragging on their least favorite player. Sure, we may not look like Angelina Jolie or measure up to Charlize Theron- but we're just as funny and kick ass too.
We don't expect much, we've probably had our fair share of shitty boyfriends... but don't over look us. If you're sick of bringing your most recent bank statement to a first date and are annoyed with girls who order the most expensive item on the menu (at least she eats!)... give these girls a try. They may just surprise you.
So, the next time you're going on a date with a girl and she makes a suggestion like "let's go to an arcade" or "how about bowling?" ... she may very well be one of these girls, and she's probably a keeper. She may bust your balls in skee ball or in a political debate- but you know she'll always keep you on your toes and be there to catch you when you fall- regardless of whether you drive a Ford Focus or a BMW. If you gave up one of these girls... for whatever reason... you're a dumbass.

smells of desperation

2007-10-08T02:48:00.001+02:00

People have known for centuries that women tend to be more desperate for things than men... especially love. More often than not, when a woman breaks up with a man she will question whether she did the right thing. If she feels she didn't and really misses him- she'll swallow her pride and talk to him about it. Men may think "I made a mistake" but rarely will they act on it.
Recently, I learned how desperate some women are when trying to get a man. Jdate, the Jewish online dating network, allows you to see who has viewed your profile. To make my parents happy (and keep them off my back), I signed up for Jdate. I usually get interesting men looking at my profile. Occasionally, I will see that a man over the age of 45 has viewed my profile (like they have a chance!) It is rare for a woman to look at my profile. This week, I've had a few hits from women. It's odd to me.
I used to question why a woman would look at another woman's profile. This question was answered for me by a woman in the form of an instant message. She explained to me that she has been dating a guy she met on Jdate for a while. She hacked into his account and saw that I had viewed his profile. She then logged back into her account, looked at my profile, and sent me an IM. She would have been safer using his account to look at my profile.
This woman is smart enough to see that my handle is the same as my AOL Instant Messenger. So, she sent me an IM. After explaining to me who she is, how she got my screen name, and why she hacked into this guy's account- she explained what she wanted. Having noticed other women looking at his profile, she decided I was the prettiest one and the one woman who could keep her from really getting this man. She asked me, politely, not to look at his profile or contact him. Ever. It's a little bit irrational but I told her it wasn't a big deal. When she asked me "why would you say it's not a big deal, it's a big deal to me!" I responded with "he's ugly and too short for me... he's all yours." Needless to say she got pissed. After trying to insult me, I asked her not to contact me again and I hope her relationship turns out well.
Someone please explain why women do this? I'm a woman and it would never dawn on me to contact another woman to ask her not to contact the object of her affection. How did we become this insecure?
To my fellow women, learn this: if you have to stoop to such a low level and ask a woman not to contact a guy you're dating- stop and think that there is a reason he is dating you. Stop thinking someone could get in the way. The only person that can get in the way is you. If he likes someone else, he wasn't that into you and you'll find someone better suited for you. Just move on. Don't lower yourself. We're better than this...

On a similar note, I wish there was an emoticon for "creeped out" because that's what I am after this experience.

whoa nelly...

2007-09-26T16:02:00.001+02:00

Recently, a lot of friends have been seeking my advice on relationships. What to expect at the start of a new relationship, how not to get ahead of themselves and their feelings, and when to call it quits. For some reason, people think I have a lot of experience with this. I have dated a lot and I've committed all the "wrongs" of wanting to be with someone. I have just gotten out of the "college" style of dating where you meet someone, spend a lot of time with them and get all wrapped up in them. I guess I have *some* experience on what NOT to do.

Last night, I had a great conversation with a friend of mine about relationships. She wasn't seeking advice but I could tell that she was relieved to talk about the subject and was interested in hearing what I've gone through. Unlike her, I have never really done the "long term relationship" so I have no idea what it's like to go through a relationship like that much less a break up. It was interesting to get her perspective on things. We started talking about power and how women (and maybe men too) shouldn't give away our power to our partner. I've never experienced that push and pull for power. It's just never come up in a relationship. I'm the serial dater, so as far as I was concerned- I held the power until I got bored with someone.

Her wish for me was for me to leave the past in the past and start fresh. My wish for her was to cut her losses and find someone who will worship her and love her like no one has ever loved her. She reminded me that it's great to start new. However, dating in Detroit kinda sucks. You either know everyone or you know someone that knows them... or know someone that has dated them. It's not as fun as dating in Israel was... but I'm not in Israel anymore. I look forward to seeing what else is out there...